Trying to get a sick kid better is like trying to herd stoned cats… from the musical Cats.  First of all, all kid medicine, even the homeopathic stuff, tastes like candy.  The Munch’s fish oil pills are actually sugarcoated gumdrops, her “pulsatilla” are like little balls of lollipop, her Vitamin C’s are like Pez, and her elderflower / Echinacea tincture is like a melted popsicle.  Giving her the stuff isn’t really the problem, but getting her away from it is.  She literally challenged me to a fight for more this morning.  And when I wasn’t looking she had opened the bottle of fish oil gummies and was popping them in her mouth 4 at a time.  This kid isn’t fucking around.

Along with this lovely fever, The Munch also has a pretty epic case of pink eye.  I know.  Fun times.  So I looked up some natural remedies and one of them was to put a warm compress on her eye and have here lay there for 10 min.  That was about as successful as getting a hummingbird to do calligraphy.  Bitch would not stay still for more than 8 milliseconds.

“Noooooo Mamma NOOOO! I don’t want that on my eye.  It is wet! I can’t see!! NOOOOOOOOO!!”

Then my friend suggested I squirt breast milk in her eye.  Now I am not positive, but I am pretty sure chasing my child around with my boob out attempting to spurt my tit substance in her face definitely did some damage.

(Check out the gross eye….)