Despite my many plans of the day, all of them had to be abandoned to aid The Munch who woke up with a fever. All she wanted was to be with Mamma. Although that is sweet and I will always be there for her because I love her so very dearly… but seriously kid, get off my nuts will you? Taking care of my sick child is a lot like taking care of your needy drunk girlfriend.
1) She wanted to watch a movie, but insisted on talking through the entire thing. Considering the only movie she has ever seen is the documentary Babies, things got kind of weird pretty fast. (note to self: maybe there is a reason most parents show their kids cartoons)
Munch: “The baby is in Mamma’s tummy!”
Toni: “Yes munch it is.”
Munch: “The Mamma is at the hospital!”
Toni: “Uh huh.”
Munch: “The Mamma is sweating! She is worried?”
Toni: “Well, yeah she is sweating, but I think she is just working hard. She isn’t worried.”
Munch: “AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! THE BABY CAME OUT OF MAMMA’S BUP!!!” (bup=vagina)
Toni: “Ummmm yeah…. That did happen.”
Munch: “AHHHHHHHHH!! The baby is all yucky!!!”
Toni: “The baby is quite cheesy yes.”
Munch: “I want some cheese!”
Toni: “Not that kind of cheese Munch… that is just birth cheese.”
Munch: “That baby is doing nana.” (breast-feeding)
Toni: “Yes the baby is.”
Munch: “I WANT TO DO NANA!!!!!!
2) She also wanted to sit on my lap and cuddle all day. Literally… all day. Wouldn’t let me leave the room for one second with out her.
Munch: “Mamma nooooooo… where are you going?”
Toni: “Munch I really have to pee.”
Munch: “I wanna come with you! I wanna sit on your lap! I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND! DON’T LEAVE ME!”
3) She kept looking at me with glazed over eyes saying non sequiturs and drooling.
Munch: “I had a big hand. There was a hippopotamus, he was soooo sleepy. I don’t want to drink that either. No, there are no stairs. But I said to the princess potty go home.”
Toni: “Okayyyyyyyyyy.”
4) She insisted on wearing her party dress with no panties even though there was no party, and totally weather inappropriate.
5) She kept falling asleep in the middle of talking and then when I tried to get her to go to bed, she would get really mad and cry and instead put all her weight on my pinning me down as a hostage to her slumber.
