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Today is My Mother Fucking Birthday!

Today is the day of my vaginal emergence. The remembrance of that fateful morning I tore through my mom’s body, and burst forth into the world headfirst while covered in birth cheese. What a lovely moment to picture in your mind while eating yogurt.

Birthdays usually inspire me to reflect upon my life. To think back on not only the 365 days that have past, but also my entire existence. Did I have enough fun as a child? When did I lose my innocence? Was it ever there to begin with? Did I waste my 20’s? Will I ever feel accomplished? And seriously what the fuck happened in my 20’s because holy shit….

I was hanging out with my cousin for the holidays and although he is 10 years younger than me, it feels like he has his life wayyyyyy more together. He’s an artist, owns a gallery, and wears clothes that actually flatter his figure unlike my fleece sweatpants. As happy as I am for him, it makes me think about how far I am from where I want to be. And also how I really need to go shopping and get some better clothes because I look like a 12-year old boy with messy hair who just got caught jerking off.

The problem with striving for something is that it means I am always looking ahead, and never around. As soon as I accomplish one thing, I already want the next thing to happen. Yeah yeah yeah great – now that I’ve gotten here, I want to go there!

Then I had this realization the other day…

What if I can’t get to where I want to be in life, until I fully appreciate where I am in life?!

Maybe that is obvious to you… but it felt like a goddamn revelation to me.

I really feel that this expression on my face pretty much says it all…

birthday-blog-(i)