Taylor Swift’s Blank Space

Cause we’re young and we’re reckless
We’ll take this way too far
It’ll leave you breathless
Or with a nasty scar
Got a long list of ex-lovers
They’ll tell you I’m insane
But I got a blank space baby
And I’ll write your name

Blank Space is about dark matter and the terrifying reality that the human brain cannot understand the mysterious substance that constitutes 98% of the universe. Dark matter is so complex, that our psyche’s can’t grasp its physical properties. Most of the world around us is made up of space, yet because our brain is so limited, we perceive things as solid. Yet in truth, all of us, ex lovers included, are truly insane for believing we are anything but blank space in this cold dark universe.

Tiffany’s “I Think We’re Alone Now”

Running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another hands
Trying to get away into the night and then you put your arms around me
And we tumble to the ground and then you say

I think we’re alone now,
There doesn’t seem to be anyone around
I think we’re alone now,
The beating of our hearts is the only sound

This song is about atheism, and coming to terms with the idea that there is no God. We turn to each other, holding hands, trying to run from this harsh reality. You embrace me in a desperate attempt to make sense of this existential crisis, but we still tumble to the ground. We fall into an abyss of blackness, because that is where we go where we die – back into the darkness. I think we’re alone, because there is no God in the background. He is not around to save you. The only thing you are left with is the sound of your own beating heart, before it stops beating for the last time.

Brittany Spears’ “Hit Me Baby One More Time”

Oh, baby, baby
Oh, baby, baby

Oh, baby, baby
How was I supposed to know
That something wasn’t right here?
Oh, baby, baby
I shouldn’t have let you go
And now you’re out of sight, yeah

Show me how you want it to be
Tell me, baby,
‘Cause I need to know now, oh, because…

My loneliness is killing me (and I)
I must confess, I still believe (still believe)
When I’m not with you I lose my mind
Give me a sign
Hit me, baby, one more time

Oh, baby, baby
The reason I breathe is you
Boy, you got me blinded
Oh, baby, baby
There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
It’s not the way I planned it

This song is about police brutality. You thought the justice system was just, because how would you know any different? It’s what we were taught as children. But yet, something isn’t right. You can never let the police out of your sight. The only way to keep yourself safe is to have them show you how to act. To dictate your behavior to satisfy their needs.

The loneliness in this uncaring world, where you can be persecuted for being the wrong skin color, or wearing the wrong type of sweatshirt, IS actually killing me – both literally and figuratively. I think I need the police to protect me, but this dependency on the very institution that is hurting me, is making me lose my mind. I don’t know what the world would look like without laws and the lawmakers that enforce them, because there is no obvious sign that there is another way. So hit me one more time, because you’ve already hit me a bunch. You, Mr. Police Man, got me blinded because you sprayed mace in my eyes… that was definitely not part of the plan.

Rihanna’s “Umbrella”

Uh huh, uh huh (Yea Rihanna)
Uh huh, uh huh (Good girl gone bad)
Uh huh, uh huh (Take three… Action)
Uh huh, uh huh

No clouds in my stones
Let it rain, I hydroplane in the bank
Coming down with the Dow Jones
When the clouds come we gone, we Rocafella
We fly higher than weather
In G5’s are better,
You know me,
In anticipation, for precipitation.
Stack chips for the rainy day
Jay, Rain Man is back with little Ms. Sunshine
Rihanna, where you at?

You have my heart
And we’ll never be worlds apart
Maybe in magazines
But you’ll still be my star
Baby, ’cause in the dark
You can’t see shiny cars
And that’s when you need me there
With you I’ll always share
Because

When the sun shines, we’ll shine together
Told you I’d be here forever
Said I’ll always be a friend
Took an oath I’ma stick it out ’til the end
Now that it’s raining more than ever
Know that we’ll still have each other
You can stand under my umbrella
You can stand under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh)
Under my umbrella
(Ella ella eh eh eh eh eh eh)

This song is about global warming. The Dow Jones, “Rocafella,” and Wall Street are all the cause of the clouds – the clouds of acid rain. When the sun shines, we shine with it, because our skin will be burning from the lack of ozone. We will stand under the umbrella together, as the seas rise, we will stick it out to the end.

Black Eyed Peas “My Humps”

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside your trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump, my hump,
My hump, my hump, my hump, my lovely little lumps (Check it out)
I drive these brothers crazy,
I do it on the daily,
They treat me really nicely,
They buy me all these ices.
Dolce & Gabbana,
Fendi and that Donna
Karan, they be sharin’
All their money got me wearin’ fly
Brother I ain’t askin,
They say they love my ass ‘n,
Seven Jeans, True Religion’s,
I say no, but they keep givin’
So I keep on takin’
And no I ain’t taken
We can keep on datin’
I keep on demonstrating.
My love (love), my love, my love, my love (love)
You love my lady lumps (love),
My hump, my hump, my hump (love),
My humps they got you,
She’s got me spending.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me and spending time on me.
She’s got me spendin’.
(Oh) Spendin’ all your money on me, up on me, on me

What you gon’ do with all that junk?
All that junk inside that trunk?
I’ma get, get, get, get, you drunk,
Get you love drunk off my hump.
What you gon’ do with all that ass?
All that ass inside them jeans?
I’m a make, make, make, make you scream
Make you scream, make you scream.
Cos of my hump (ha), my hump, my hump, my hump (what).
My hump, my hump, my hump (ha), my lovely lady lumps (Check it out)

I met a girl down at the disco.
She said hey, hey, hey yea let’s go.
I could be your baby, you can be my honey
Let’s spend time not money.
I mix your milk wit my cocoa puff,
Milky, milky cocoa,
Mix your milk with my cocoa puff, milky, milky riiiiiiight.

This song is about materialism, and the social consequence of sweatshop labor. We have all this junk, in our living rooms, bedrooms, and trunks. Seriously though – what are we going to do with it? We are going to escape from the tyranny of our stuff by getting drunk. It is too painful to think of the environmental and social consequences of all this junk. The human suffering of children working 18-hour days. No. We will get wasted off of a hump instead. It is the only way to deal. We will celebrate corporate greed manifested through high fashion and diamonds so we can keep having sex, and demonstrating the denial. We turn to humps and humping because coco puffs with milk is the only NOT to not think about our place in the milky way.