Let Me Help You!
Everyone hates doing chores. Washing dishes, doing laundry, folding clothes, cleaning bathrooms, picking up messes, are all incredibly boring activities. Unless you are on meth or snorting cocaine -cleaning is never more fun than on an extreme stimulant.
But of course these are modern-times, “first world,” absurd complaints. I am fully aware that people walk miles to get only quasi-clean water, or don’t even have clothes to wash. For me to bitch about this shit proves the insanity of the world and how it is impossible to have true perspective when there is such a vast discrepancy of not only wealth, but also basic resources like food water and shelter, which should be a human right. But as I was saying… housework sucks cock.
Recently The Munch has been wanting to “help me” with certain tasks – which theoretically is great. I want Munch to be involved in the responsibility of keeping a clean house, so her volunteering to be of assistance is something you think I would appreciate. But something that usually takes 5 minutes for me to do on my own now takes 4 times as long with The Munch’s “help.”
Toni: Munch can you give Mamma some space I need to unload the dishwasher.
Munch: I want to help you!
Toni: Great, why don’t you pass me the dishes and I will put them away.
Munch: Okay! Mamma, is this a fork?
Toni: Yes it is, now hand it to me.
Munch: Wait a minute I want to show you something.
Munch: If I take this fork and swing it around like this it’s like a plane.
Toni: Yup it sure is, now give it to me.
Munch: Is it clean?
Toni: Yes Munch its clean, it just came out of the dishwasher.
Munch: And the dishwasher was cleaning it?
Munch: With soap?
Toni: Yes Munch, with soap.
Munch: Did it make bubbles.
Toni: I am sure it did.
Munch: But I can’t see the bubbles.
Toni: Well Munch the bubbles were going when the dishwasher was on.
Munch: But I can’t see the dishwasher on.
Toni: That is because it was on at night when you were sleeping.
Munch: But I want to see the bubbles!!
Toni: Well you can’t see them anyway because the dishwasher door has to be closed. Now can you pass me the fork?
Munch: But I want to show you something.
Toni: What Munch?
Munch: If you shake it really fast like this it looks like its dancing!
Toni: Yeah it does, now give it to Mamma.
Toni: Can you pass me that plate now?
Munch: Wait I want to show you something….