I went to this women’s mediation circle over the weekend to get all up in my feminine moon energy… you know, just penetrating my inner goddess.  Sometimes my female essence needs a good stuffing.

It started off with a lecture about the current state of woman-ness, and how competition is a product of the times, and not the natural state between sisters.  Where once humans were nomadic and lived off the land, the birth of agriculture fundamentally changed society, our relationship to nature, and the role of women.  The disempowerment of the woman was solidified when she became the property of man, like cattle or land.  For her to have control of her life or influence on others she would have to compete for the right mate to help provide that for her.  Women were conditioned to contend and judge each other in order to survive, but that does not mean that is how we have to be.  Instead we should aspire to achieve community, cooperation, and support.

Alright!! I dig it! I want to be all one and together with my fellow priestesses.  I see the beauty in others and I am totally down to appreciate the shit out of the lovely land mermaids that surround me.  I am all about being part of a sisterhood that aims to embolden these sacred vessels life.  I want to be a part of a communal cauldron of feminists.  But the no judging part?? Like, I can’t judge these chicks and make fun of them in my head? Not even for a second?? Really??

Maybe it is my makeup, or maybe I am slightly cunty, but I like to judge the crap out of everyone and everything.  I can’t help but see the absurdity of life, and laughing at how crazy we all are.  It is not like I am just judging other people because I spend a lot of time judging myself too.  But although I am totally down to join the Army of the Amazons, can I please at least talk about everyone behind their back still???  At least to myself????

So after the lecture we did this crazy Kundalini yoga class that ended with us going around in a circle and sharing our experience.  And of course, we knew it was our turn to talk because we were handed a heart-shaped rose quartz.  If you weren’t holding the crystal it was not your turn to talk goddammit.  I really related to what these women were saying and valued how they shared their souls.  And although I was genuinely moved by their wisdom and vulnerability… I was still giggling to myself every once in a while.  If some one closed her eyes for too long, or paused for a few minutes for the their words to sink in – it amused my ego.  But that doesn’t mean I didn’t honor the moment and wasn’t totally grateful.  I would like to think it is possible that I can still be my bitchy judgmental self, but still be part of the movement.

See… we are having fun even though I am judging her!