That’s Snot Okay!

Although my own boogers have proved to provide endless entertainment and distraction from boredom, I am actually quite horrified by the nose droppings of others.  I have forced myself to come to peace with the snot of The Munch, considering she has been known to use my shirt as a Kleenex, and often leaves a patty of mucus on my shoulder after an intense cry.  I will admit though, I have yet to fully suppress my gag reflex when she eats her nasal candy.

But The Munch is the spawn of my DNA, so her bodily secretions are less gross then if she were not my genetic semi-clone.  She is an extension of my insides, except with feet, and her own face.  Her piss and shit has been the soundtrack to my life, and I have learned to deal with her excretions with as much dignity as a Victorian Lady with dysentery.

But that does not mean I am comfortable with other people’s boogers being wiped on me.  Which is what my friend kept doing as a joke over the weekend.  I started to have a visceral reaction that seemed like it was coming from a primal wound from my past.  In an effort to uncover this trauma I was engaging in some intense talk therapy over the phone with my most trusted confident.

“You know, she just kept wiping her boogers on me.  Although I can appreciate the comedy, actually looking at the glistening slime on my pants produced surges of vomit to bellow up the back of my throat.  I am not sure why I have such an aversion?? Maybe it dates back to when my brother would take his boogers and attach them to his eyelashes, extending the green goblin from the top set to the bottom.  He would keep his eye at half-mast to make sure not to lose this slime soldier and then chase me around the room like that – getting just close enough forcing me to look at his face and watch the booger stretch across the lashes as he blinked.”

Yeah… come to think of it, I am pretty sure that is the source of my terror.

(Hard to believe such a sweet face was capable of such psychological warfare.  Although I do think my brother is a comedic genius.  I have a lot to learn from him.  Munch… you better watch out!)

  • http://wanderlustzoe.tumblr.com wanderlust

    This is such a funny cute witty post! love it! kisses!

  • http://WebsiteURL holly

    Good heavens! I had no idea my children were so creative with their snot. As for the Munch, well just think of it as being very comfortable with her own body. She will, most likely, out grow it.

  • http://WebsiteURL lizzie

    and 28 years later, he is still obsessed with boogers. he’s just as cute (or more) though!

  • http://WebsiteURL Laszlo

    Toni I think this ranks on the top ten of the list of dramas that I visited upon you in my capacity as your deficient older brother. I would laugh, but I can’t help but to pause and think about what would have possessed my young mind to chase you around like that with such matters attached to my eyelashes. It really brings me to think that ultimately children are more complicated and interesting than adults, both with respect to the moral-philosophical questions that they raise, and with respect to their strange stances of confrontation. I can’t understand what primal matter in the universe would have caused me to chase you around like that. And yet, yes, this is an event that occurred in the history of homo sapiens.

  • http://WebsiteURL lizzie

    oh my god, I just now went to tonibologna and so just now saw the first picture! I’ve never seen that picture before!!! Laszlo is soooo cute!!!!