The Water Conspiracy
I think there is a conspiracy going on. One where all kids are consulting each other either through advanced nanobot technology, telepathy, or they are running the NSA. Plotting with their tiny malicious consciousness-es to infiltrate the collective adult psyche and destroy any hope for sanity with one question. “Can I have a glass of water.”
Now I am pretty sure that The Munch has never overtly discussed with her friends different strategies on how not to go to sleep… so how on goddess’ green earth does she know that once she is tucked in, and I am downstairs, to come and ask for a glass of water like every cliché sitcom moment of “parent putting kid to bed.” Was she born with this instinct? Who taught her this fail proof approach? It is the perfect excuse. Because who would refuse their child hydration? Yet once she gets said water she barely takes a lick…. LIKE SHE WAS NEVER EVEN THIRSTY IN THE FIRST PLACE!
So I had an idea. I would circumvent her scheme by making sure there was always a glass of water next to Munch’s bed. That way she would never have to come down with any needs. Right?? Hehehe. Right?? Is anyone out there?
Toni: Munch! What are you doing downstairs? You need to get back up there right now. You know the rules. Once Mamma tucks you in, you have to stay in your bed.
Munch: I know Mamma… I just needed my toy.
Toni: Which toy?
Munch: Uhhhhhhhh….. this one! This dogy right here. Yup. That is the one I needed all along.
Toni: Munch! I can hear you stomping down those stairs – go back to bed!
Munch. I am not stomping. I am tip-toeing
Toni: What do you need?
Munch: Uhhhh… I need my ballerina book from The Nutcracker.
Toni: Munch the lights are out. It isn’t time to read.
Munch: But that is why I have my flashlight Mom.