The Internet is like a needy girlfriend.  It always wants to know what I am thinking (through Facebook status updates), what I am doing (through twitter,) who I am with (through Instragram), and where I am in Google maps.  Hey Internet, get off my nuts!

And now the Internet is saying it wants to be close to me all the time and sit on my face!

Introducing the new Google Glasses.  Glasses that you wear so the Internet is forever with you and always in your line of sight.  On these glasses are a little computer processer, battery, and screen for the ultimate web surfing experience.  A major step to what is called “ubiquitous computing” which is the idea that the Internet will be accessible from anywhere and we wouldn’t have to even lift a finger to access it.  Wow!! All this work my fingers have been doing is exhausting.  Using my body parts is so stupid.

Maybe looking like a cyborg is a major advancement in technology and we will all be wearing these by the end of the year, or maybe it is a transhumanist nightmare?  Is this the beginning of a post-human existence? One where life is so embedded with technology that we couldn’t feel complete without it?

I would consider myself to be interested in technology and its potential in the evolution of human consciousness, but at the same time I worry about the seduction of all these innovations.  Before I had an Iphone I was perfectly willing to wait for a train and think, but now that I have the option to do something else I will turn to the stimulus of my phone.  It is not the technology that is the problem in this equation, but my relationship to it.  I am not using my phone to save the world, but to save me from my boredom.

I know there are applications of my phone and these social networking sites that could have profound implications for how the world operates.  Mass protests could be organized banning certain corporations and exposing political corruption to help empower citizens from this systemic oppression that is destroying the planet.  The Internet is a platform for truth and information to be disseminated beyond the compromised media sources, which is helping to create major potential for an effective movement.  And although all that is happening, people still spend most of their time taking pictures of their food and looking at porn.  It is not the technology’s fault that the majority of our time online is spent jerking off; both figuratively and literally.  We really only have ourselves to blame.

Yet I have to realize that for 99.99% of our human history we have not had the exposure to these hi-tech inventions.  These gadgets are still so knew to us, and like kids in a candy store we want to consume it all with little attention paid to consequences.  Right now we may have an immature relationship to technology, but that is because it is still so novel.  Perhaps for the generations growing up with these devices as commonplace, they will also have a more mature adult relationship with technology and its functions.  So please children of the future, save me from myself because I am fucking up.

“Seriously Mom? That is your plan?”