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The Forbidden Fruit Has Been Tasted

It happened.  My child has been exposed.  She experienced the taste of sin. A drug she will battle with, and probably abuse many times.  And I am not talking black tar heroin, because we already kicked that habit when she was 18-months.  I am talking about sugar.

It started innocently enough. With an organic, vegan, gluten-free, coconut Popsicle my mom gave her.  The Munch’s unpolluted mind had never even heard such words as cake, candy, or cookies.  But the more she started to understand the world around her, the harder it became to lie about what things were.  She started to look at me with doubt when I insisted that a lollipop was made of fairy skin.

A birthday cake was the gateway drug.  My friend’s husband offered her a piece.  I almost refused.  I was this close from convincing The Munch that cake was bread with barf spread on top of it.  But it was for free, and he insisted she have a taste.  I figured it was a special occasion, and let her live on the wild side.  How often does one go to birthday parties? It turns out, quite a lot.  Now all she cares about at these stupid parties is the cake. It doesn’t even matter whose party it is.

I think I was the one who gave her the first cookie.  But it wasn’t my fault.  I was tired, weak, and had my guard down.  I didn’t have it in me to fight against her wrath.  She manipulated me.  And now she knows not only that cookies are fucking delicious, but also what they look like.  This makes going to a store very complicated because she understands that round circles with black dots means that shit is good.

The ice cream happened with her babysitter… the candy too.  Now The Munch is fully aware just how tasty sugar is.  The only things I have been able to keep from her are chocolate bars.  I told her they were “Mamma crackers” and made out of cat poop.

Maybe it is not a big deal?  Sugar is a part of life and if I deprive her totally I will only make the forbidden more seductive.  But it is not good for the immune system.  It doesn’t contribute anyway to her her health.  And even if its organic treats she is getting, it doesn’t mean its good for her (although I tell myself that organic ice cream happens to be great for me).

I am trying not to care too much.  To realize that finding a balance is part of parenting and if I am too controlling about what The Munch eats I could give her a complex.  But her naivety made my life so much easier.  She was totally oblivious to the temptation.  The Munch’s ignorance protected her from feeling the disappointment of lacking – or maybe more important it protected me from her.  Now she knows what she is missing when I say. “no you can’t have that.” The subsequent distress, frustration, horror, and tantrum that follow are because she can taste the vacuum of what could have been.

Sugar is the first drug children are exposed to.  It has an addictive quality, and also makes you feel high.  The rush.  The hyper manic energy that makes you want to punch a cat in the face.  And then of course the crash, that leads into the depression of being without, that eventually morphs into then the desperate searching for your next fix.  And like the need for drugs, kids will do anything to get their sweets.  Including scream in your face, embarrass you at stores, and weep uncontrollably while shaking in the corner.

“Hey Mamma! This doesn’t taste like fairy flesh?!”



7 Responses to The Forbidden Fruit Has Been Tasted

  1. holly says:

    Chill! Seriously, chill. Ice cream and cake are fine at birthday parties and an occasional cookie or scoop of ice cream is going to be fine, especially with grandmothers. If you turn all sweets into a forbidden fruit, it will be just that. Remember we would let you have as much “weak cereal” as you wanted every Saturday morning? You actually ate very little of it. It was the thrill of seeing milk turn into noxious colors. But you were never seduced by candy or junk food. We simply did not have it in our house, although I did make tollhouse cookies and you loved to lick the bowl. Teach her about garbage advertising and how evil Republicans are. Don’t let her play golf!

  2. lizzie says:

    the funniest is when you told her that green frosting was just avocado

  3. Angela says:

    I think you have a very solemn grasp on things. As you were.

    PS Make treats with rice malt, stevia or coconut sugar. Sweetness without the crash 😉

  4. E.a. says:

    In my opinion, I think telling your children lies (even if they are silly white lies) about something as small as what sweets are, is not a good start for any child. Instead of making the sweets seem like something terrifying (fairy skin?) make them understand that they are not good for her.

  5. Laszlo says:

    This is none of my business, but maybe she should watch you consume sugar properly. Like if you turn on a tv and see someone chugging a coke as if it were water, that is a really bad message. But having the stuff in a wine glass, or bits of chocolate. Then the person can maybe learn to enjoy the stuff over a period of time. I remember as a child my friend wanting my four cookies and giving me magazines for them. So he had my cookies. The deprivation produces the need. But then at the same time seeing people consume these things in ways that are insane given their nutritional signature is probably worse. I say give her chocolate and keep her away from the TV … for as long as you can until she reaches the age of reason and then maybe you can tell her why you think x thing stinks on it. I am sorry to be way out of line writing all this 😉

  6. Mitchell says:

    You do know that nature is against you as well right?

    In nature when man was hunting and gathering children’s taste buds were developed for sweet food because they were safe and non-poisonous Because sugar is a natural preservative. There for eating sweet stuff was the heather better choice. So these are addictions our kids have driven deep in to there DNA. All we can do is try our best to manage there habbit and keep it in moderation for them.

    Btw. Try not to psychologically damage The Munch too much with story’s of feces and flesh.

  7. Tom says:

    I’m a big fan of your blog!
    Among the many posts you have published, I love this article, it’s very helpful to me. I’ve shared your awesome post to my friends.

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