I Love You

In my blog I do a lot of talking about me.  So today I want to talk about you.  More importantly, how you make me feel.  Phew, we are back to talking about me again.  I feel a lot more comfortable now.

In case this is our last day on earth, I just wanted to say thank you.  Thank you for reading my blog.  It means everything to me.  More than I can express in words, but not more than I can express in sounds.

“Oooooooooooiiiiiiiing! Doink.  Doinngggggg.  Booooobiepoodles!  Yoikes.  Pow pow pow pow pow pow pow.  Pitter-patter.  Cha-ching! Fthhhhhhhhpt.  POP!”

I just want you to know, I really appreciate your taking the time to read my musings.  You give my life more meaning than you probably understand, and I will forever be grateful.  And if the world doesn’t explode tomorrow on the Mayan apocalypse, and our bodies are not turned inside out, there are some things I want to do with you.

If 2013 does indeed exist; there is a whole lot of living we have to do.  For example we could:

• Place our butts together and fart at exactly the same time.  Who knows whose fart will have more velocity, and whose butt will suck up the combined flatulent.  Only time will tell.
• Buy a house and fill it with water so we could swim from room to room in mermaid costumes.
• Open a store that has nothing to sell.  Then when people come it to buy stuff and get annoyed that there is nothing in the store, we could lecture them on being so materialistic with a self-righteous tone.

I really hope this isn’t the end of days, and the Mayans were just fucking with us – but if it is, thanks for being on the ride with me.

(This is one of my natural homeopathic remedies to rid me of my shingles.  Putting turmeric all over my face so I look like an Oompa Loompa.  Do you think I can start a trend?)