Maybe it’s just me, but something about having sores on my face is depressing. The constant unrelenting pain sprinkled with the burning itching sensation is really affecting my spirit. Everyone kind friend who texts or calls wondering if I am okay gets the same blah reaction from me.
“How am I today? The same. A face full of festering blisters. Pretty much want to flush my head down the toilet. How about you?”
So I decided that I was going to go hard on some healing today. My diarrhea-coated disposition can’t be helping, and figured I would be as pro-active as possible so as not to wallow in self-pity. By the way, is there any other context where you have ever used the world “wallow” except when it comes to misery? That word needs more applications. I think I am going to start wallowing in joy or lust in the near future so get ready!
My day began with some cranial sacral therapy, energy work, and a chiropractic adjustment. The hippy witch doctor told me that feeling dejected was part of shingles, and tried to help with my energetic emotional self. Not sure if it fucking worked…. But I feel ugly, stupid, and like a big dirty loser.
Then I went to get a B12 shot from my other hippy doctor. Now I have a thing with male doctors where I don’t really want take my clothes off around them. So even though he told me it would hurt way less to get the shot in my butt, I got it in my arm. And you want to know what? My arm really aches and feels like it is going to fall off. I think tomorrow I will go without pants. Then he can take the hint and we can move on with our lives.
Then an acupuncturist came to my house. Now I have had acupuncture before, so I thought I knew what to expect. Usually they jab some needles in your body, and then leave you alone for 20 minutes to ponder existence. This woman, however, spent the entire time tweaking the needles. So would go from needle to needle as if she were tuning an instrument, sending nerve pain ricocheting throughout my being. She would touch one needle and my eye would hurt, then another and my lip would hurt, then another and my cheek would hurt. It was like a cascading symphony of suffering.
“I know. My way of acupuncture is very painful. But it works. Shingles can last months you know? But you are handling my hurting you very well.”
“Well, maybe that is because I am terrified of you.”
So after a day of trying all these things and having a nice Asian lady torture me for an hour, I actually feel 10 times worse. It is hard to believe, but my pain and itching have not only spread, but also intensified beyond what I have been incessantly complaining about. I called the acupuncture lady and asked if that was normal.”
“It hurts more now? Yeah. I opened up a lot of energetic blockages. So it will hurt more. You will probably need about 5 more treatments. See you Thursday.”
Ummmm maybe I wanted to keep my energy blocked? Okay, so I am officially flushing my head down the toilet now.
