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Self-Righteous Hippy

I know I am a hypocrite. Despite the fact that I am staunchly committed to certain values, I am also very lenient when it comes to my moral code. I live in a quantum mass of contradictions, and I am as uncomfortable as I am okay with that. So yeah….

I have a lot of standards of how I want to operate in the world, but life doesn’t always allow the purity of my vision. Or maybe more accurately, my laziness does not always foster flawlessness. In an ideal circumstance I would never support a corporation, eat only food that grew on the virgin soil I tilled, and exclusively wear fabrics weaved by fair trade fairies. But I don’t. I try…. but I am far from perfect.

I wanted to raise my kid to be a new age indigo child of the future who ate stardust, played with caterpillars, wore Birkenstocks, and communicated telepathically with her acute 6th sense of empathy. I mean The Munch is cool and all, but she for SURE is corrupted by popular culture – and I really only have myself to blame. It is not like I introduced Munch to My Little Pony, but now that she knows they are out there with their fluorescent manes, I don’t deny her of them either.

In my New Hampsha community many of us straddle the line of wanting our kids to be the crystal generation that saves humanity with their heightened awareness and compassion, and getting sick of them so we let them eat candy and watch cartoons. We are doing our best to condition them with sticks for toys and mud for entertainment, yet we also sometimes give up when they whine too much about getting dirt in their butt. It’s a compromise.

But in Vermont, the state that is 69-ing with New Hampsha, they keep it real. Vermont is hardcore when it comes to their hippy ideology. Most of my friends live in cabins you have to hike 1.8 miles to get to, and once you are there you realize there is no running water or insulation. It is super common for someone to ask to use your shower because they live in a tent, and if you were to ever mention having a dishwasher or a dryer people would look at you like you just raped their cat in their living room.

The dance studio I own is in the mecca of Vermont hippy central. Even though I am kind of part of the community, I also am not because I don’t harvest my own Kombucha.

Sooooo…. the other day Munch and I went to this organic “fish and chips” place to get some dinner after my class. I had been there before, and knew the guy who owned the place had a daughter about Munch’s age. While we were waiting for our food, I was trying to be nice, so I asked the dude about his stupid kid.

Toni: So how is your daughter?
Self-righteous Hippy: She is really good. We have been taking her out into the woods to identify mushrooms so…
Toni: Oh cool. That sounds fun.
Self-righteous Hippy: Yeah, well she already knows all the birdcalls of the indigenous species in the area so….
Toni: Right on. Ummm. Does she like Frozen?
Self-righteous Hippy: Excuse me?
Toni: You know, Frozen? The Movie.
Self-righteous Hippy: Oh. The Disney movie?
Toni: Yeah. Like all the little girls I know are obsessed with that movie and the music from it.
Self-righteous Hippy: Yeah, we don’t allow any screen time in our yurt, and we certainly wouldn’t ever let our child watch the corruption that is Disney.
Toni: Yeah, I get what you mean. It is not ideal. But I think at least Disney is trying to promote a more feminist message lately.
Self-righteous Hippy: Ummm yeah… I guess. I just would never know that or care to know that.

I then looked over at Munch who was wearing her “Little Mermaid” dress, Cinderella glass slipper high heel shoes, and Dora The Explorer hat.

Toni: Right totally… me neither.

(Here is Munch is her “Frozen” princess dress celebrating the sky, and her “Beauty and the Beast” princess dress, Dora hat, eating a tomato from our garden)

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