The last few months my dog Mona had a wart on her face – right above her lip. It was all I could see at when I looked at her… her festering, sprouting wart. Whenever someone would come over, I was convinced they focused on it too. It was like this weird projected vanity. I feared people would be like, “Of course Toni’s dog has a wart. She is totally the type of person to have a warty dog.” But this morning I woke up and the wart was gone! I was so happy that it took me a moment to consider where in my bed the wart probably was behind.
Vanity isn’t just about how you look, but includes everything that is associated with you as well. Your house, kid, car, animal, clothes, spouse, are all a reflection of you.
Anything that is associated with ME must reflect my personal brand perfectly!
But I think this extends beyond the external influence of others and into our own internal perception of self. Aren’t there days where you know you aren’t going to see anyone, but still get dressed and do your hair? Take a glance in the mirror to make sure you don’t have chocolate doughnut on your face? We aren’t just concerned about our appearances for other people’s sake, but also for our own. I want to look hot for me!
We worship beauty, so when we see ourselves as lovely there is this self-adoration that is revealed. Look at how cute I am when I brush my teeth! I love looking at me! Aesthetic has become equated to value in culture, and so feelings of self-worth become tied to appearances. And when we hate looking at ourselves that is because there is this unconscious perception that we are of lesser value. It isn’t just about a bad hair day, or unclear skin, but the lacking of the actual feelings of self-acceptance.
I am not above this mind you. Considering I am the laziest person on the planet when it comes to beauty regiments, I sure have a lot of unrealistic expectations like “hey Toni, why does your hair that you haven’t washed in 2-weeks look dull and greasy? Blah you suck!” The only thing I have going for me is that I am too self-involved to dwell on all the physical imperfections I notice because my mind quickly goes back to all that I haven’t accomplished in life. I will be like, “whoa, are those forehead wrinkles here to stay?” and then immediately get more depressed about someone getting more “likes” than I do on a Facebook post.
It seems to be human nature to appreciate beauty, but maybe rather than focusing on material or superficial beauty, we should turn our attention towards natural beauty. I think our appreciation for aesthetic was a significant part of evolution because to notice the beauty of the world provokes the questioning of it. Maybe it was honoring the splendor of a sunset that led early humans Korga and Pflom to ponder existence? Perhaps acknowledging beauty is what separates man from the animal kingdom?
So I am thinking that all the billions of dollars we spend annually trying to stay young and beautify ourselves we should instead spend on preserving the minimal nature we have left. We can’t look to the government to save the planet for us, so why not just do it ourselves with all the money we would have used for bullshit eyeliner, plastic surgery, or penis enlargers (or whatever beauty products men spend money on).
PS My friend Grace came over this morning and I was all “Grace look! Mona’s wart fell off!!!” And then she was all “What wart? I never noticed any wart?”
Just some stupid leaves and stuff
