I went to get a massage last night, and from the second I walked in the door and saw her hands I felt like an aggressive cat that leans in to make you pet them as they pace back and forth. Although intellectually it may seem odd for a complete stranger to rub your naked body with scented oils, and under normal circumstances you would probably insist they pay you rather than vice versa… But when you are in pain and need someone to poke, probe, and knead your aching muscles you may start taking off your clothes before the masseuse leaves the room to give you that private time disrobe. This is actually harder to do than you think, especially if your masseuse is Eastern European with Popeye forearms.

The irony about massages is that you want someone to hurt you to make your hurt go away. Of course massage is a healing hurt rather than an injury hurt, but often times in order for something to get better you have to endure a vast amount of intensity. John Mellencamp must have been getting some serious body work done when he wrote that song “hurt so good,” or it was inspired by losing his virginity as a teenage girl.

I had a realization during my massage that was inspired by the fact that every time she was penetrating the core of my tenseness me I started to giggle. The masseuse told me she had another client who also laughed because “I am either going to laugh or cry…” which was exactly how I felt. It made me appreciate the very thin line of sensation, and how our 5-senses help us to see the balance between black and white, good and evil, right and wrong, and how it is all really the same.

For instance, when your feet are freezing to the point that your toes burn. Or you taste something so sour your mouth is flooded with sweet saliva. How about when you shut your eyes as tight as you can, to be as blind from the outside light, and see spectacular colors and patterns. Isn’t it easy for something to tickle so much it itches? And how often have you heard the deafening sound of silence? Can’t you smell something you really enjoy, but after too much of the scent it starts to make you feel sick?

We often simplify our human experience of the world into moralistic definitives, and judge people who behave differently because it is easier than understanding each individual context. But when you think of how complex you feel about your own life you then start to realize how everyone feels that way about theirs as well. Nothing is as it seems because is everything is what it isn’t, and really the ultimate game in life is maintaining a positive perspective.

“Wow… maybe I am not that small after all!”