I am really uptight about food quality, at least when I have control over what I eat, or what I feed The Munch. I am fully aware of how annoying I can be, but it is only because I have over educated myself on the subject. I know too much, and you can’t unlearn something once you know it. Except for fractions…
My crusade began in college when a friend of mine told me about partially hydrogenated oils and I transformed from someone who ate Hamburger Helper and Rice-A-Roni to the orgamazon that I am today. Food that is over processed and garnished with chemicals doesn’t even taste like food to me any more, so you can imagine my self-rightous horror when a friend brought over hydrogenated cookies as a gift for a dinner party. Now, I am not a sociopath, so of course I didn’t say anything, but I was not about to put one of those maple cream cookies in my mouth even if I knew they had the potential to be delicious. After my friend left I debated throwing them out, but could’t rationalize it thinking of my dead Grandmother who having escaped her motherland during WW2, instilled the value in me never to waste food. Besides, I figured someone else would enjoy them who isn’t as holier than though as I act.
Okay… fast forward a few days… The Munch has a cold all weekend and is not sleeping. Awesome. I had a dance rehearsal and decided it would be best if the baby sitter watched her… the baby sitter who I LOVE mind you…. but who will not say no to The Munch…EVER. She doesn’t like it when she cries because it hurts her heart. Oh… she is so sweet it is painful.
When the baby sitter brought her to me this fateful afternoon she told me “She did not eat much… but she wanted cracker… so I gave her two… and I had one.”
“Liliana, you can have 10,000 crackers. Help yourself!” It didn’t occur to me that it was odd she mentioned she had 1 cracker… I didn’t even think about it. I went into the kitchen, and saw the cookies had moved from the counter to the table. Again, I didn’t over think this assuming someone had moved them and figured they had just moved them selves like cookies sometimes do. No big deal.
I then sat on the couch and found a cookie with little tiny Munchee bites taken out of it. It then occurred to me… THE MUNCH CALLS EVERYTHING CRACKER! She calls granola bars crackers, pasta crackers, crackers crackers. As I held the cookie in horror knowing this was the most sugar The Munch has had in her entire life I watched her talking to herself about starting a band, throwing every book out of the book shelf, trying to sit on the cat, and them climb up to the second shelf of the fridge all within in 75 seconds. She was high as f*ck.
I could see the scene in my head. Her grunting at the cookies, Liliana trying to figure out what she wanted… and of course… of course… it was the cookies.
Sigh… I threw them out.