Okay fine. So my kid is officially an addict. Stop judging me. You probably are too. Maybe not to black tar heroine – but I am sure you have some vice okay? The Munch’s just happens to be sugar.
She loves candy canes, lollipops, chocolate, hot cocoa… and even if they are organic and made with the tiny tentacles of fairly-traded bees – it is still sugar. So obviously I have to monitor the intake of such goodies, which feels like a part time job.
You see, kids don’t just ask for something once. They will keep asking until they break you. It doesn’t matter if you say “no” or “you have had enough.” They will continue to ask relentlessly like they the bad cop interrogating you at the 5th ward.
So I have a strategy. The Munch isn’t allowed to have a treat until she eats something healthy first. Okay… sounds pretty smart right? She may have a face full of sugar, but that will only be after she has ingested copious amounts of kale.
But The Munch is a smart girl, and even though she will comply with the eating healthy request, the next debate becomes how much of the healthy stuff does she need to eat before she can have her treat?
Munch: Mamma, can I have a cookie?
Toni: Okay. But you have to have something healthy first. I made some spinach and carrots. Why don’t you have that?
Munch: Okay, so I will have 3 bites and then I can I have my cookie.
Toni: No, you have to have more than that.
Munch: But I am 3 years old!
Toni: Okay, so how about this. You have 3 bites, 3 times.
Munch: Okay, I have 3 bites at a time.
Munch: So is that 3 bites?
Toni: That is 3 bites one time. But you have to have 3 bites 3 times, so have 3 more bites… and why don’t you have those bites 3 more times too because that is 3 bites at a time 3 times.
Munch: Okay so I had 3 bites Mamma.
Toni: You did, but you need to do that 3 more times. So have 3 more bites, 3 times, and then 3 times more, times 3. And then you can have your cookie.
Okay fine. Maybe I am not doing the best job at teaching her to multiply, and I am blatantly exploiting her bad math skills. But that is easier than telling her to finish her plate, which after having 3 bites that many times she always does anyway.
“I think I am too full from seaweed and chia seeds to finish this cookie…”