I hope that you guys did something magical on the solstice over the weekend. That you somehow communed with Grandmother Moon, sang snow salted songs sprinkled by the illusion of time, and danced under star beams through a pomegranate dusk. Or that just drank a few beers and farted. Either or…
On my solstice saturday I decided to go to a yoga class where we did 108 sun salutations while chanting wishes of peace to all living beings… because that is the type of shit I would do. Sometimes you just have to see what you are made out of. I have to say, that was the hardest thing thing I have done since giving birth. Of course it was physically challenging to do that many downward dogs, push ups, upward dogs, lunges… but the mental part was way more maddening than the moving. Doing anything 108 times is boring as fuck — even having 108 orgasms in a row gets pretty old. When I was at sun salutation #12 I was already thinking “boy this totally sucks” let alone 37, 63, 89…
I then had a small girls gathering, where there was a pretty high possibility of breaking out a mirror to individually get to know our own cervix – because it was that kind of crowd. After our delicious meal of kale salad and discussion of the many benefits of garlic on the immune system, the vibe was obviously getting pretty wild – pretty soon we would be comparing our favorite yogi tea. So it became time to put The Munch to bed.
I put her to bed, kissed The Munch goodnight and came bak down stairs. But we were all still in the kitchen chatting about such scandalous things as the emotional satisfaction of having stacked wood in perfect alignment, when I heard The Munch come down the stairs.
Toni: Dude! What is going on? When Mamma puts you to bed, you have to stay in bed. You can’t come downstairs after that. You know that.
Munch: I know, but I think you should go to bed too.
Toni: Munch, I will go to bed, but not yet. Mamma is having fun with her friends.
Munch: Yeah, but I think you should go to bed now like me.
Toni: Much, get back into bed. I love you and I will see you in the morning.
Munch: Yeah okay. But don’t have fun without me and go to bed in five minutes.