I think all children are born honest.  Not because they are saints, or morally superior, but more because they haven’t figured out that you can lie yet.  Their mushy developing brains aren’t aware of the potential of lies.  The don’t realize that you can come up with an alternate reality, and then present that as truth in order to get what you want / get out of trouble.  Their naivety is almost tragic!

Up to this point, The Munch has been compulsively honest even when it didn’t serve her purposes.  Although I liked to assume her candidness was a function of her future as a holy being, I am pretty sure the real reason why she had never fibbed was because it hadn’t occurred to her.  But last night… everything changed.

I put her to bed, kissed her forehead, and said goodnight.  I could tell she wasn’t ready to go to sleep, but I also could smell the stench of my armpits in the hallway from three days ago, and knew it was time to take a shower.  As I was washing off I heard footsteps stomping around above me, but ignored them figuring she would go back to bed on her own.  And then, like that moment in Psycho, fear poured over my goose-bumped body as the door to the bathroom opened.

Munch: Mamma?

Toni: Munch, what you are you doing down here? I am taking a shower.  Get back in your bed.

Munch: But I am scared of the dark.

Okay.  No.  She is not scared of the dark.  She has never been scared of the dark.  I didn’t buy it.  But I also didn’t want to minimize her “fear” so as not to come off like a heartless wench.

Toni: Well, that is why you have a nightlight sweetie.  So go back to your room, and when I am done I will come check on you.

Munch: But my nightlight isn’t on.  It is too dark in my room.

Toni: Well, why did you turn your nightlight off?

Munch: I didn’t.  My toys did.

Toni: Ohhhhhh your toys did.  Okay.  Let me get out and we can turn the nightlight back on.

Still in my towel we walked up the stairs and The Munch continued…

Munch: My toys kept telling me to turn the light off.  That they wanted it off.  And I said no.  But they did it anyway.

Toni: Hmmmmmmm.

Then we got into her room and her fucking nightlight was on!

Toni: Dude, your nightlight is on.

Munch: Minnie Mouse must have turned it back on for me.