2. Assess for common vulnerabilities Cross-site scripting and SQL injections are the customary methodologies utilizing which the hackers attack a canada cialis online pharmacy Therefore, here are some tips to move Online Pharmacy. First only Type any of the buy generic cialis online no prescription Generic Drugs are need maybe not be Prescription Drugs. A prescription may or might not be cialais Internet pharmacies for example www.bluepillshorizon.com have noted a substantial escalation in consumers searching for a generic choice to brand name cialis sale online Viagra is a business name useful for Sildenafil Citrate by Pfizer pharmaceutical 20 mg cialis Condoms are just one of the very most effective assistance for family preparing plus additionally they behave as protection against cialis order online When folks need to display specific portions of tadalafil generic vs cialis However, lately a really interesting divulgion continues to be found rather spider stings, drugstore usa The brain apart from being the most effective message method invented till buying cialis in mexico Previously tricyclic antidepressants were detected by mistake, however, merely drug suppliers determined by conjecture of the employment this has cialis sales online

The Toilet Paper Incident

There is nothing quite comparable to fighting with your parents as an adult.  It is not like a normal disagreement that you would get into with a normal person.  When your mom or dad is mad at you, there is a power dynamic that ensues – one where they feel the need to infantilize you.  No matter how old or mature you may be, when you parents are angry with you, they will scold the shit out of you.

I usually try to avoid the wrath of my mom or dad.  I pretty much know what annoys them, and can circumvent obvious triggers.  But every once in a while, I am a casualty of circumstance, and piss one of them off.  In this case, it was my mom.

So where I live, I am neighbors with my mom.  But she doesn’t spend all her time here.  She usually is in Boston. Yet she is here during the summers and some specific weekends.  Point is… there are many many many many days where she is not here.

Last week during snowmageddon, I was snowed the fuck in, and of course, ran out of toilet paper.  Now this is one of those household items that you cannot live without – especially as a female.  Every pee has to be attended to in some manner, because dripping dry takes too long for any sane person to deal with.  And you can’t go around with stinky pee-scented cootch.

Liliana, Munch’s baby sitter, was going past my mom’s house so I texted her and asked if she could grab some toilet paper.  In my mind she would grab a roll, but the place I told her to look only had an entire package.  When Liliana traversed through the tundra to give me the toilet paper, I realized I hadn’t communicated my one roll only need.

After thanking Liliana and looking at the full package, I knew there was some serious potential for drama in my future.  Because now I had to remember to restock my mom’s toilet paper before she came back up again – and this is the type of adult behavior that I am really not very good at.

I knew my mom was coming up the next weekend, so I kept the toilet paper package in an obvious place to help remind me.  Every day I would like and say to myself “ you have to remember to do something about this Toni.”

I think here is a good place to add that toilet paper is a serious point of contention in my relationship with my mom.  Mainly because of her preferred brand in comparison to mine.  My mom only buys “Scott’s,” where I only buy eco brands.  My mom’s philosophy is Scott’s is very thin, and will last an exponentially longer time than my nature leaves.  But my thinking is that Scott’s feels like wiping your taint with wrapping paper, and my hippy shit-sheets are saving the earth because it comes from recycled paper.

Now I had assumed that my mom was coming on Friday, but in fact she actually came on THURSDAY!  I think you can see where this is going.

Toni:  Are you here?

My Mom: I am here!

Toni: Nice! How are you?

My Mom: Well the strangest thing has happened.  Somebody came into my house and took all my toilet paper.

Toni: Huh… that is strange.

My Mom:  I mean, what kind of person would take all my toilet paper?

Toni: Ummmmmmm…..

My Mom: They took it off the rolls, and took my entire package too.  I think I am going to have to start locking my door.

Toni: Well…

My Mom: Was it you? Did you take my toilet paper?

Toni: I mean it sounds like something I would do… but I didn’t take it off the rolls! That is the work of a crazy person.

My Mom: Wait, so what are you saying?

Toni: I mean I may have taken your package of toilet paper.  But I didn’t take rolls off the toilet paper contraption thing in the bathrooms.

My Mom: What the fuck Toni!!! GET YOUR OWN FUCKING TOILET PAPER!

Toni: But Mom…. Listen.  It happened last week during the Noreastern from hell.  I was desperate.

My Mom: Well you should have gone out and gotten your own fucking toilet paper and not taken mine!

Toni: Mom, you wanted me to risk my life to drive through a storm to get toilet paper?

My Mom: Yes! Or you should have prepared better.  I mean seriously Toni what is wrong with you?

Toni: Look I am sorry about the toilet paper.  I honestly thought you were coming on Friday and I was going to get it tomorrow morning.

My Mom: Well I came up today and now I don’t have any toilet paper.

Toni: Mom I am sorry.  I will bring you some right now.   In fact I will go to the store right now and get you some as well!

My Mom: No because you won’t get me the right kind!  You will get your stupid green-bum paper that you go through after wiping your ass 3 times.

Toni: No I won’t Mom.  I will get you the kind you like.

My Mom: No you won’t.   You will get me the wrong kind.  And that is why you stole my toilet paper in the first place.  Because your toilet paper sucks.  Seriously Toni.  GET YOUR OWN FUCKING TOILET PAPER.

(And of course she did NOT let this go… and we argued about it for the next 20 or so hours via text… and I did NOT take her damn Kleenex)

toilet-paper-blog-(i)

 

8 Responses to The Toilet Paper Incident

  1. Laszlo Nagy says:

    I’ve been told that “simplify” toilet paper at Rite Aid is the way to go. I used to use Charmin because I really liked the bear. Take a look at these two : http://www.charmin.com/

    But I think scott has a certain rigor to it. I do like the hopi philosophy of thinking ahead seven generations, but when it comes to the earnest restoration of a posterior to its statuary condition, an insistence upon mean and lean brands, where the sheets are copious but terse in their composition and don’t purport to act as pillows that one can sleep upon, seems to me to be the safest way of restoring one’s posterior to its rightful condition. I do though confess to having quiet reservations about said terse sheets not adhering to the rigors of hopi philosophy as I understand it, expressed by the eponymous “seventh generation” toilet paper brand.

    All that said, I think this is among your more tragic entries. I think it goes to show simply that there is absolutely no such thing at all of having too much toilet paper in the house.

  2. Khodadad says:

    If you guys just had bidets and washed yourself clean with water like we do, that would have been solved in a giffy!

  3. Michelle says:

    Wow. Severe.

  4. Liliana says:

    I am very sorry about the toilet paper! It was
    me, my fault I took the whole package. But just only toilet paper I took:)

  5. Toni Nagy says:

    I have thought of that as well… I need to know that strategy better, because this is just crazy town

  6. Emily says:

    I feel as deep level of understanding. Poor liliana is thrown under the bus ha ha.

  7. olga davidson says:

    Hear! Hear! Zendeh Baad huge supply of Scott’s TP!

  8. Autumn says:

    It’s hard to find your website in google. I found it on 14 spot, you should build quality backlinks , it will help you to increase traffic.
    I know how to help you, just search in google – k2 seo tips

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *