I live a pretty isolated life, so every once and a while I feel the pressure to take The Munch on adventures to commune with other children. My friend Grace and I went to an indoor play land that we knew quite possibly would be filled with disgusting germ ridden tots, but decided the potential joy was worth the risk. Well, it wasn’t at all.

First of all, The Munch is kind of a snob and doesn’t like to be around the masses. She spent the first hour and a half staring, judging, and making comments to herself about how balls aren’t that big of a deal so calm down. Once the crowd thinned down she started to loosen up and put a few toys in her mouth to see what all the fuss was about. I knew this was a problem, but I wanted her to enjoy life and be a kid so I didn’t stop her. Plus I was going to put them in my mouth next because what is all the fuss about?

Needless to say The Munch got violently ill after this extravaganza. She spent all last night puking, barfing, hacking, gagging, and vomiting. I thought it was over this morning so I finally washed the chunks out of her hair and mine, only for her to puke 10 more times during the day. Sometimes in my hands. Other times on my shirt. And this last time all over my lap and down my pants.

(Notice the stripe the puke that oozed between my legs made on the couch)

“Mamma…. this sux….and you smell rancid…”