For the average adult human, an emotional meltdown is more of a rare occurrence.  You may have them because of an intense fight with a loved one, a major disappointment at work, or some stressful situation that gets the better of you.  Usually the cause of your demise is easily explained and understood by others, and there is some reasonable explanation for your anguish.  Yet the standard toddler has a total breakdown every day.  I am talking full on mental collapse, at least once before bedtime, and almost always inspired by pure insanity and irrationality.

Navigating your child’s meltdown becomes an art form.  The level of strategic thinking and patience that must be applied is as fine tuned as the work of an obsessive compulsive on meth.

The problem with the meltdown frame of mind is giving your child what they want doesn’t necessarily stop the poignant unleashing.  Once they have plunged into the lunacy of their tantrum, your standard schemes have to be drastically improved.  You can’t just offer them something else and depend on the power of distraction.  The meltdowns are too nuclear.

Let me give you an example of how wild these situations can get.

It all started when Munch wanted to put her blackberries in the hummus.  Okay, so you have tasted blackberries before right?  Not exactly a flavor that goes well with chickpeas and garlic.  I was trying to explain that to her, but she insisted on this combination, and then was furious about how it tasted.  So this was where it started.

“I want blackberries in my hummus Mamma…. I want it!!!! Wahhhhaaaahhhh.  Mamma, this tastes yucky! I DON’T WANT IT! Waaaaahhhhhhaaaaaaah!”

I then brought her up to the bath because I figured she was tired.  Of course, she started losing her mind in there, and I decided I had to get her out before I drowned her.  I put The Munch on the chair to brush her teeth and she peed on her towel.  So I did what any normal person would do… took away the towel with pee on it, and put in in the laundry.

“Nooooooooooooooooooooo!! Mamma NO!!! Waaaaaaaaahhhhh! I want the pee towel! I want it!”

“Munch, no.  It has pee on it.  Mamma is going to clean it.”

“No Mamma no!!!! Wahhhhhhaaaaahhhh! I REALLY WANT IT! I WANT THE PEE TOWEL!”

I gave it to her, watched her wrap her self up in it, and then:

“Mamma this towel has pee on it! Wahhhhaaaaaahhhhh!”

So I took back the pee towel, finally put her to bed, and went down stairs to finish the blackberries and hummus.