Hi. I am going to admit something to you. Something that is not only absurd, but also humiliating considering how much time I spend writing every day. Me not so good at grammar.
I feel cold. Hold me.
I cannot tell you how many emails I have written to my dad that come back corrected. He doesn’t even respond to what I am saying. He just revises my grammar and signs off with a bunch of frowny faces.
My grandmother will often stare through my being with a look of repulsion while she reminds me that “it is Bitty and I, darling, NOT Bitty and me.”
The dark comedy in all this is that when they correct me I get why, but I also totally don’t. I then think to myself “Toni, what is going on? You went through grade school. This is shit you should know? How did you get by not knowing this?”
Then I kind of remember – when I was a kid, I probably cheated a lot. Yeah. I am pretty sure I did. Not on everything of course. Just on everything I could.
So yeah fine. I probably cheated my way through 3rd grade. And that is why I get texts like this from my mom.




