You know how kids play pretend right? Well even though I don’t do that any more (except every time I get on Facebook and pretend my life is perfect), when I spend time with The Munch it often involves me entering into her world of imagination. She gives me her dolls or stuffed animals and makes me talk for them, as I become a character in her very elaborate vision.
Let me just get this out there before you go much further. Full disclaimer. The mind of a two year old is pretty demented place to enter into.
The Munch is into role-playing situations that have happened to her. So if she and I had a conversation about patience, and I tell her how she can’t cry and demand to have things “right now” all the time, she will then make her baby cry and be told she has to be patient.
Okay, that seems pretty benign. Internalizing life lessons by recreating them under circumstances she has control over. I was fine with this, and a willing participant.
But yesterday things got kind of surreal. The Munch was having me be her bunny, who she said was sick and needed its eyes fixed. Alright. She did at one point have pink eye, so I figured this material was inspired by that memory. The Munch was telling Bunny its eyes had yellow stuff and needed to be cleaned. So far, pretty accurate.
While looking for something to wipe the bunny’s eyes, The Munch found a thermometer. I am not sure how she knew what one was, considering I hadn’t used one on her for over a year, but she did.
Munch: “I am just going to take your temperature Bunny. So turn around so I can put it in your bum.”
Okay, so that was how I took her temperature, but again, this was a long time ago! I mean I guess children have wayyyy better memories than we think they do.
Toni: “Okay Munch, but you have to be gentle when taking Bunny’s temperature.”
She looked at me, and at first was gently placing the thermometer on Bunny’s bum. But then she started maniacally laughing and sodomizing poor Bunny!
Toni: “Munch that is not gentle!’
But she didn’t care and kept laughing! And that is the story of when The Much anally raped a bunny.