Deep Thoughts-Shallow Response
You know those moments when you unexpectedly untangle the mysteries of the universe? How you suddenly and intuitively understand a mystical force of how things are? It may not be necessarily scientific, but the natural world unravels her secrets for you to peer inside the inner workings… just for a moment.
Usually these insights happen when you are tripping out with spider monkeys in Bora Bora. It takes a decent amount of acid, some improvisational guitar solos, and a Sherpa to get there. Since I am living the sober life, I don’t usually get the pleasure of spiritual epiphanies and have to settle with thoughts like “I wonder if male lady bugs have an inferiority complex.”
But I went to yoga class and suffered through the most intense physical exertion of my life. We were not only holding our bodies in a pose for an insanely long time, but also doing crazy breath work in the process. It was taking so much endurance just to make it to the next second, and I found myself getting so furious at the teacher that I wanted to scream “Why are you doing this to me? What is wrong with you? I HATE YOU.”
But I didn’t because that would have been kind of awkward.
Towards the end my arms were tingling like they were having a post mortem spasm, my face felt like a thousand fire ant had laid eggs in my skin that were beginning to hatch, and my mind was rupturing into fragments of fury.
Once it was over, and all that suffering was behind me, I felt like I was on ecstasy. I had never challenged myself that intensely for that concentrated amount of time, and I felt like I transcended something. What? I don’t really know… but it felt meaningful. When we relaxed and lied down for corpse pose I realized I could still see despite my closed eyes. Behind my eyelids I saw energy. It was so clear. And I said to myself, oh… I get it… all energy is waves. Totally. Right on.
Even during the deepest moments of my mind I am still cool enough to say “right on.”