Here are some direct quotes from The Munch that has she said to me in private. Thank god no one overheard her, because that would soooo embarrassing!
- Mom, did you put puke oil on your hair? It smells like puke.
- Your face is always stuck in a frown.
- It’s so sad you can’t even draw a squirrel good – you really need more practice.
- You should probably go to the bathroom because your fart smells like a poop fell out of your butt.
- Your clothes aren’t very pretty. You should wear more dresses so people will like you.
- I thought you’d know the answer, but I think you’re wrong. I guess there’s a lot you don’t know. Like so much. Did you even do homework?
- I’d love you more if you were a stuffed animal.
- When you sleep, your face looks all “scrumbily.”
- I can see your nanas (boobs). They are so funny.
- When I grow up can I live with you? You’ll probably be sad and lonely when you’re old.
It’s not like your hair is that great either….