I like sharing… your stuff with me. But sharing my stuff with you is less appealing. Mainly because the second you show interest in something I have, it makes me want it more. And also because I am selfish.

Just kidding. I am an amazing sharer. To a fault. I am that person where if you asked to borrow the underwear I was wearing, I would give it to you. But you should probably turn it inside out. I am low on toilette paper. You see, I share not only because I am a saintly person with a heart as pure as a Jonas Brother, but also because I have a really hard time saying no. But just focus on the me being generous because I am so noble and worthy of praise and admiration.

Having a baby really tests your capacity to share. You share your body when you are preggers, you share your boobs to feed them, you share your sleep to comfort them, you share your energy to keep them happy, you share your time to raise them… in short, anything that was once yours you now share with your baby.

Okay, I am fine with that. And no… my motivation to share is not solely because of the intensity of grunts and yells I have to endure when she doesn’t get what she wants. Her pinching and pulling my hair has nothing to do with it either.

But now that The Munch is eating and drinking, I also have to share all that I consume with her as well. This would be fine if she drank like a normal person… but this is not the case. When I give her a sip of my water, she starts off by licking it. She then puts her grimy hands in the cup, which are covered in grossness and floor scum. She will maybe get some water in her mouth, then usually chokes and spits the water back in. Maybe she will stick her hands in some more, and if I am lucky, will wack the cup so I spill it. The eating is slightly more exciting because it involves a fair amount of spitting up, throwing of food, squeezing everything with the afore mentioned gnarly hands, and knocking the plate over. Maybe I should start drinking whisky and then all this sharing business will put her right to sleep, and I won’t care that I am not wearing any underwear.

“Wow Munch… I am glad I shared my mango with you. I super want a bite now!”