Why Does Eco Stuff Have To Suck Sometimes?

I am that person that is going to buy the eco version of everything and anything. Sure it is usually twice as expensive and packaged in brown paper with muted green branding and self-righteous stories, but I will buy it anyway. I am that person.

Okay… but you know what? Some of that eco shit sucks.

I know it is better for the environment and blah blah blah, and I care about the future of the world for my baby and yadda yadda yadda, but still. The sunscreen for example never blends in and makes you look like Casper. The tin foil doesn’t clamp onto anything and just hangs off your dishes like a limp penis. Don’t even get me started on my super expensive phone ear-piece made out of bamboo and happy BPA free plastic that only works if I am in a handstand and holding my Blackberry at a 127 degree angle.

I am totally willing to accept that what makes mass produced products seem superior is probably because of the chemicals, toxins, and fairy blood they use to manufacture it. I know that Deet bug spray works so well because it is actually Agent Orange. I don’t regret the fact that my sponge made of sea foam doesn’t exactly absorb anything, and more just spreads the moisture around. Or that my fair trade water free laundry detergent made from peasants in small village in San Francisco doesn’t actually get any stains out… so The Munch and I are trying to make puke and poo splotches fashionable.

Okay… so this is an eco spoon… spoons usually go in hot things right? So why is it melting??

So because I endure all suck of eco stuff I think it is only fair that I sometimes run a fan outside to keep the bugs off of The Munch ;o)