Vulcan Neck Pinch

You know the frustration of trying to fall asleep? You roll around into different positions. Sigh heavily. Try and focus your mind so you stop thinking about all the stresses of your day, but you can’t, so then you get stressed out about how you can’t stop stressing out. Maybe flail around then think you have to pee. Then think “no, I just peed.” But the fact that you thought about peeing makes it so you can’t stop thinking about pee. So you get up to pee, and the most unsatisfying dribble comes out which makes you mad. Then you get back into bed resentfully because of that wasted trip to the bathroom for the lame pee that only woke you up more. Sigh again. Roll around some more. Then get stressed out about how tired you are going to be tomorrow because you didn’t get enough sleep.

Sometimes falling asleep sucks and I get that. But when The Munch can’t fall asleep it is really annoying. Mostly because I am there watching her process and she just gets to pee in her pants and not bother with the whole “should I go to the bathroom” conundrum which makes me jealous. But also because I want to do other things like look at pictures of her on my phone.

If I try to leave while she is still awake she cries, and even though I could just let her cry, I can’t actually go through with it. Especially because if I come back into the room she immediately stops crying and that makes me feel special. Total ego boost.

But what if I learned the Vulcan Neck Pinch? Just a little pinch in just the right pressure point to knock her out. No harm no foul right?

“But I don’t feel like sleeping!”

Previous post:
Next Post: