Twerking Boot Camp

Miley Cryus is getting a lot of attention for her performance at the VMA’s where she was twerking in her underwear, and mock finger-banging her self with a giant Styrofoam hand.  The prevailing sentiments seem to be that Miley was being slutty, a bad role model for girls, boring, indecent, over-sexualized, immature, whorish, etc… but you know what? Everyone is talking about her and that is probably exactly what she was looking for.

People may think that Miley Cyrus was exploiting herself, but she was also exploiting culture.  She is pandering to the fact that when girls do scandalous sexual acts people pay attention.  Wayyyyyyyyyy more so than when they do intelligent but understated ones.  Take for example how I will scroll down my Facebook feed and see a picture of a sweet teenage girl with glasses and a shy smile with a caption that reads “young high school student develops alternative fuel using only dust bunnies and scientific genius.”  Maybe 4 people will “like” it and one comment will read “nifty.”  But Miley Cyrus dry humps a grown man on stage while dancing like a stripper and it’s national news. And to be fair, no one is shitting on Robin Thick for being a pervert so the hypocrisy is evident there.

Even if her actions were disturbing, they are still effective.  She is a sexy girl and wants people to notice her, so she does outrageous and sexy things.  It is a formula that works. Miley is not the first, and she wont be the last to use this strategy.  She wanted to shock the world with her daring activities and she knew that would keep her relevant in the media. Mission accomplished.

But the truth is being provocative just isn’t that provocative anymore.  We have seen it all. Unless Miley Cyrus ejected a goat fetus out of her puss and then ate it, I am kind of numb to it all.  In a way we probably all are.  And thanks to the porno culture that dominates our western sexual-psychology it is easy to be jaded and unimpressed.

The question isn’t “why the fuck did Miley do that,” because I blame her publicist and manager more than her.  They are grown ass adults who know better, and Miley (at 20 years old) is still developing her frontal lobe.  Maybe they should encourage her to work on her artistry more than her ass gyrating.  Like improving her singing and dancing capacities.  My question is more “why the fuck society doesn’t have the same fascination with smart women as they do with slutty ones?”  There are plenty of respectable and intelligent role models for girls out there, but they are not the ones being exposed to the mass public.  So what is the solution?

And here it is.   I am going to start a non-profit called “twerking for smart chicks” where I teach those who are trying to be admired for their brains and accomplishments to learn how to twerk.  Twerking is hard on the thighs, so they will have to do a lot of training.  But through my twerking-boot camp these girls will soon get the recognition they deserve!