The Apocalypse Is Screwing With My Weekend Plans!

The upcoming Armageddon is seriously messing with my Saturday. I mean The Munch and I are supposed to go to an art fair, and the world coming to an end will totally ruin everything!

You know what I don’t understand… why does the second coming of Jesus have to mean death and destruction? If Jesus were really coming back to earth he would be 33, which is 21 in guy years. What if Jesus wanted to hang out in skinny jeans and get an Ipad? He is a good-looking guy… maybe he wants to go to bars, get laid, and not text the girl back for 6 days. I mean it I has been 2000 years and he probably wants to play the field. God…. Stop pressuring Jesus to be in a long-term commitment!

I am just saying…

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