Holy shit you guys! It’s been 6 years that I have been writing Toni Bologna!! Who would have known I had so many vagina jokes in me! I can’t believe it!
For the first time since the birth of this baby I am going to need to take a break. I am already sad. The thought of this just gave me hives and anal leakage.
The reason why I am taking this hiatus is because I am going try and live my dreams for a moment and make a feature film.
Holy shit… writing that makes me feel like a crazy person who is mostly likely delusional. Hold me!
I will be back in exactly 3 weeks. In that time here are my predictions of what is going to go down.
1) I will think of the most amazing joke involving labia and then weep terribly for I will have no venue to express myself.
2) Donald Trump will resign from being the republican nominee and form his own political party called “Orange You Glad I’m Gonna Take Over the World.” Bernie Sanders will lose the democratic nomination because of super duper pooper-scooper delegates and also from his own political party called “Kale Today Gone Tomorrow.”
3) I will finally come up with the perfect metaphor involving the shedding of uterine lining and the corporate take over of the lizard elite.
I will see you guys back in JULY!!! Please don’t forget me. The thought of you not thinking of me just disrupted my colon so deeply that I may or may not have just shat out my mouth.