Vagina Stuff
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• The Internal Battle Of Borrowing

  

  If you have a vagina, you have probably at one point in your life experienced the joy and drama of borrowing clothes from your friends. The amazing part of the lending process is when you are on the receiving end. The more challenging portion of the exchange is when you are on the giving end, because the second your friend puts on your clothes you immediately want them back.

  It is such a classic case of you don’t know what you got until it’s gone. Just the fact that someone is interested in something on the bottom of your closet floor makes it more appealing. Yet if you have already borrowed stuff from your friend, you can’t be a dick and say “Ummm actually no you can’t have that – because now I want it just because you wanted it so… sorry.” You have to suck it up and let them wear what you are now totally seduced by.

  Despite the internal chaos of the borrowing practice, it is part of the intimacy of female relationships. Now that The Munch is 4 and has a best friend, she has been initiated into this ritual. Munch and her best friend both really like princess dresses and princess gear. Hazel has very kindly let Munch borrow quite a few princess dresses, so in exchange Munch let Hazel borrow her coveted Cinderella glass slipper high heel shoes.

  Yet once Munch got home, the reality of not having her favorite shoes dawned on her. Suddenly the sorrow of loss overtook her tiny body, and she began to weep the tears of a broken doll. As much as I felt the anguish of her loss, she also had to learn that it is all part of the borrowing ceremony.

  Here we are talking about the tragedy of wanting to borrow stuff, but regretting lending the things you love.

  

  July 11, 2014 • 1st time for everything, 4 years old, Behavior, Family Drama, Toddler Thoughts, Vagina Stuff, Women's Business • Views: 3627

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• Fox News Feminism Is So Sweet

  

  Fox news recently did a segment about “how to keep your husband happy” where they interviewed the lovely “Princeton Mom”- author of the book Marry Smart. It was really cute. They talked about how women have become uppity princesses who need to shut their damn mouths and make their man a drink so he can be content while she cooks him dinner. So sweet!

  The Princeton Mom blames feminism for the degradation of how men are treated in marriages, and her advice is that women hold onto their husbands with their little pussy paws so he doesn’t leave you a lonely cat-woman spinster old maiden. She doesn’t say you have to wait on him hand and foot, but it’s probably a good idea if you do. If the Princeton Mom is going to crown herself the queen of knowing what makes men happy, then how would she advise gay couples? Shouldn’t relationship counsel ultimately be in the universal language of love? If the rational can’t be applied to all dynamics how is it even legitimate? If you are both husbands or wives then who is making who the damn drink?

  Initially I felt a lot of rage towards this Princeton Mom and the Fox News pundits egging her on, because the logic was so condescending and seemingly backwards. Yet there was an underlying message she was espousing that was reasonable – it was about kindness. Be caring towards the person you live with, parent with, and have committed yourself to. Yes! I agree with that. That is a human quality all people should strive towards because that is a decent way to behave – not because you are trying to make someone else happy.

  In fact, the expectation to make your husband or wife happy is totally absurd.

  It is not your spouse’s job to make you happy. That is your responsibility. Happiness comes from within because it is an esoteric feeling that passes like gas. Another person can’t make you happy any more than they can make you love yourself. In any given day we feel a variety of complex emotions, and the only way to find balance within the chaos is our own internal maturity of how we deal with the stresses of life. Happiness is not a goal to achieve but rather a state of being that comes with contentment of self.

  I am pretty sure the Dalai Lama isn’t expecting some lady friend to make his ass happy after she makes him bacon and eggs for breakfast – and he seems like a pretty happy dude. Relationships aren’t about holding the other person responsible for your mental well-being. They are about helping each other with the bullshit minutia of life, and listening to the other person bitch about the bullshit minutia of life.

  The only person you are accountable for making happy is yourself. And guess what? A happy person is usually a nice person to be around. They are inherently more thoughtful, compassionate, and giving because their mind isn’t clouded with anxiety or depressing thoughts. When people solely prioritize the happiness of others it makes them feel like shit, and therefor eventually act like it too. Just as you could alienate your spouse by being selfish, you could also turn out to be a bitter bride who has given her life to a man only to dream about poisoning his martini. When your own happiness is a priority it is easier to be a giving partner because you don’t feel emotionally depleted.
  

  July 9, 2014 • Current Events, Musings, Relationships, Vagina Stuff, Women's Business • Views: 4013

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• The Hypocrisy of Hobby Lobby and Wall Street’s War on the Poor

  

  In my modern liberal upbringing I had an assumption that there was a separation between church and state. It was one of those bylines in history class I took for granted and naively believed. I was also taught about checks and balances within the government, and how the judicial branch is designed to maintain justice within our political system. What this Hobby Lobby case basically proves is that there are many grand illusions behind the revered American Democratic system, and in reality we are just as archaic as the countries we declare war against under the guise of freeing them from tyranny.

  According to this ruling Christian business owners can opt out of the new health care law requirement that they cover contraceptives for women. This means that religious views are more important than federal law, and the 5 men we have elected to uphold the law agree.

  Christian fundamentalist do not believe in birth control of any kind, and the only form of family planning one should engage in is between married people using the rhythm method. Does that mean the Green family (owners of Hobby Lobby) believe that pulling out and splooging all over a lady’s tummy is a sin too? Can we really expect sex to be reserved for reproduction between a man and wife? And if so who is going to deal with all the repressed rage from all the millions of sexually frustrated people who aren’t getting laid?

  The irony of this whole conversation is that it keeps being presented as exclusively a women’s health issue. This isn’t just about females and their scary procreating vaginas, but for guys as well who would be dealing with an unwanted, unplanned pregnancy – unless the Supreme Court plans on changing the law that men are also at least financially responsible for the children their sperm creates. Corporations can’t cherry pick what elements of health they feel like supporting… Reproductive, psychological, and physical health are all interconnected. It is outrageous to embolden businesses with the idea that their individual opinions on another person’s wellbeing are more relevant than their own.

  My initial reaction to this bill being passed was total confusion on how that would work economically for a company. Wouldn’t an environment with your female employees getting knocked up effect your bottom line? Well, I guess not when you offer ABSOLUTELY NO paid maternity leave!!! Not to mention the hypocrisy of $76 million of Hobby Lobby’s investments are in companies that produce the very products they are denying their employees.

  Basically what this law is reminding us is that the employees who work for major corporations like Hobby Lobby are not only disposable, but insignificant to the people that run them. The fact that when birth control is not covered by insurance, it is forced out of the price point for women working for minimum wages is irrelevant. The idea that they could maybe lose their job, or significant paid time because of their new baby doesn’t matter. This isn’t just a war against women; it is a war against the poor.

  

  July 2, 2014 • Current Events, Vagina Stuff, Women's Business • Views: 2858

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