Hey Mom, Stop Stalking Me With Your Voice

“Be careful how you talk to your children, because one day that will become their inner voice.” – some quote on Facebook (is that ligit to say now? Can I just quote shit with “eh… saw it on my news feed?”)

I think this is a really interesting idea.  I know all of us have our mother’s/father’s voices in our heads – yapping away as part of our internal dialogue.  Judging, and telling you what to do… “Toni be careful of crumbs or the ants will come.  Toni throw away your Popsicle sticks.  Toni don’t paint your nails on the living room rug.  Toni don’t walk with your hands in your pocket because if you trip you won’t be able to catch yourself and will fall on your face.” Okay so obviously my mom was obsessed with cleanliness and my dad once had a really bad fall.

Recently I noticed that not only is my mom’s voice in the phone giving me orders to keep things tidy, or in my head further critiquing, but she is also coming out of my child’s mouth!

Let me explain.  Every time my mom comes over to my house she has to take the toilet paper, which is usually placed on the floor next to the toilet, and put it on the roll.

“Toni, why don’t you put the toilet paper on the roll? I just had to do it for you again.”

“Well because it is just going to run out and I will have to take the empty paper roll off, then put the other roll on.  I can’t stand the futility and repetition – all the time it wastes in life.”

“That takes two seconds?!”

“Well mom, that is two seconds I just don’t have.”

But ever since Munch started using the potty she insists I always put the toilet paper on the roll!  She will freak out if I don’t!!  I am not sure if the Munch and my mom are in on this together? I have also noticed that The Munch makes me clean up crumbs immediately upon their creation – even if she is the one making them.  Is this only the beginning of constant badgering coming from every direction in my life? Come to think of it, I am pretty sure The Munch is a secret operative for my mom’s agenda.

(Hahahahahaha I your face Mom and Munch!)

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