I have this narrative in my mind that things never work out for me. The voice in my head tells me that I am one of those people that will always be struggling on the periphery of life. It’s as if I were a lost astronaut floating in space, staring into the blackness of dark matter as my tears freeze from the existential coldness of existence. Am I being too dramatic?

It is just that I have tried many avenues seeking success and work really hard – but most of my endeavors never turn out they way I want or expect. There are so many projects I have embarked on that I think are going to be amazing and take me out of the rut of the struggle, but they all end up flopping like a flaccid penis.

Even though I have this expectation of inevitable failure, I still keep trying. I must be an emotional masochist because I just keep coming back for more. Someone get me a gag ball and nipple clamps for my spirit body!

I rationalize my disappointments with a variety of new age inspirational quotes. “Failure is an opportunity to begin again more intelligently,” “There is no failure except giving up,” and the famous Bill Cosby quote “I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody – which is why you should drug and rape them.” Fine, I made up that last part.

Since inescapable anticlimaxes have been such a theme to my mental monologue, my friend decided to help me decode this thought process with a guided meditation. As I was in this semi-conscious state, I had a thought that changed my whole perspective on shit. What if the wrong things don’t work out, but the right ones will?

It is such a slight shift of perception, but it felt monumental. Maybe all these things didn’t happen the way I was dreaming because they just weren’t the right paths for me. Yet if I keep poking down different avenues, I will eventually find the road I am supposed to be on.

I feel like this ideology can be applied to the pursuit of love, too. We try on all these different people like skin suits. When the relationships don’t fit, we weep in all the heartbreak and feel too fat/skinny/short/tall. Even though it hurts to peel off a person you care about, if you keep putting them on, eventually you will find the perfect one.

My personal inspirational quote…