Are You Trying to Manipulate Me?

So I decided that I was going to try to give the baby a pacifier. Considering how much sucking is part of her daily life, I figured it would be nice to suck on something other than me. So I put the thing in her mouth… she spits it out. I do it again… she spits it out. I do it about 10 more times, and get the same reaction.

So then I put in her mouth, and hold it in with the tip of my finger. She sucked on it for a minute, then sort of heaved in a gagging motion until my moved my finger and she spit the damn thing out again.

My friend Grace came over, and asks how she was liking the pacifier.

“Well she keeps acting like it’s gagging her…”

“Acting like it’s gagging her, or it is gagging her?” Holy crap Grace… You have one hell of a point there! She is not pretending to gag to mess with my mind… She is actually gagging!

I know maybe that sounds dumb, but it was a total revelation for me. She is not trying to manipulate me by gagging, or crying, or fussyness. She is just feeling what she feels and reacting. She may not even get that I am spending my entire life and energy just trying to understand her needs. She is just living her life and reacting to what I put in front of her.

They are crying out of need, not emotion. There is no need to take anything personally.

So as potentially obvious as this may be, your baby is not fucking with you, they are just trying their best to communicate to you!

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