10 Things My Kid Has Said To Me That I Am So Glad No One Knows About

Here are some direct quotes from The Munch that has she said to me in private. Thank god no one overheard her, because that would soooo embarrassing!

 

  1. Mom, did you put puke oil on your hair? It smells like puke.
  2. Your face is always stuck in a frown.
  3. It’s so sad you can’t even draw a squirrel good – you really need more practice.
  4. You should probably go to the bathroom because your fart smells like a poop fell out of your butt.
  5. Your clothes aren’t very pretty. You should wear more dresses so people will like you.
  6. I thought you’d know the answer, but I think you’re wrong. I guess there’s a lot you don’t know. Like so much. Did you even do homework?
  7. I’d love you more if you were a stuffed animal.
  8. When you sleep, your face looks all “scrumbily.”
  9. I can see your nanas (boobs). They are so funny.
  10. When I grow up can I live with you? You’ll probably be sad and lonely when you’re old.

It’s not like your hair is that great either….

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