Sometimes you meet a kid that is a total jerk. This is a perilous predicament to be in that must be handled with the care of cupping testicles. You can’t treat the kid like a jerk because then you look like the jerk. You have to smile politely and pretend to understand that they are just being kids and don’t know any better, even though you know that this little jerk does know better and is just being a jerk. If you were to bend down, grab their little jerk face, and look them in the eye to say “I will skin you alive and feed your flesh to Satan if you do that again” it would probably be frowned upon.
I encountered one of these little jerk kids at baby gymnastics the other day. The Munch had climbed up onto a platform and was walking between two beams when this little kid got on the same contraption from the other direction. I assumed this kid wasn’t a total psychopath and expected they would figure out how to get around each other… but then this kid charged at The Munch and pushed her over the ledge so she fell off the two-foot drop!
“Oh my I am so sorry!!”
The other mother seemed super embarrassed so I didn’t want to make her feel like crap.
“Don’t worry! It is fine. She falls off things all the time like that. Nothing to fret about. It is just a scratch, bruise, and her eyeball is slightly bleeding. It is nothing really! She cries hysterically when she is having fun!”
“I feel terrible. I don’t want to be that mom that no one wants to hang out with because their kid is so aggressive.”
“No….. No… don’t be silly.”
Crap… you are that mom… I never want to hang out with you.
“I don’t know where he gets it. He is really violent with me and other kids. Especially with girls.”
Well you have got yourself a winner there!
“I am sure it is just that he doesn’t know his own strength. It was nothing malicious.”
I did my best to lie to this woman’s face because I didn’t want to stress her out. I know that kids can be rough and I have never felt concern about it. The Munch has lots of boy friends that push, hit, grab hair, poke, but you could tell their intention was rooted in curiosity. Boys can be more physically intense, but I think that is because they have a higher tolerance in dealing with aggression so they don’t see the problem with being rough. But I am telling you this kid was demented and he had it out for The Munch. For the rest of gymnastics he would literally try and shove her off of anything she tried to climb on, as his mother did her best to deter him. I forced a serene face and acted like everything was normal, but this week we are going to work on some Karate moves so she is more prepared for next time!
“Okay Munch, lets do 70 more reps then get you back on the Pilates machine to strengthen your core!”
