It doesn’t take a genius to notice that men are obsessed with sex, but it does take a genius to notice why. I am that genius.

When you are a baby you spend a good amount of time discovering your body. Your hands, your fingers, your toes, your eyes, your nose, your tongue, and chances are your parents get very proud when you can identify your parts. You are encouraged to take the time and get to know every possible protrusion.

“Yes, yes, yes, baby, that is your ear! You found it”

So for baby boys, uncovering their wenis is something that happens quite early. “Look ma! Look what I got right here! This is awesome. It stretches if I pull it and comes with these tiny fun sacks too!” All of the The Munch’s friends that are boys not only know about their baby wenis, but they get little baby boners as well! Their wenis is a really big deal in their world, probably as important as having my hair in the perfect ponytail was for me.

But girls have a completely different anatomic set up. When something is in your face you are much more likely to show interest in it than if it is hidden. Everything on a girl is tucked in like a suitcase and not much is out there in the open to get your attention. A girl’s privates are basically a series of lines, like a croissant. The Munch is probably more interested in her knee pit.

So it is not you man’s fault if he is a total pervert, he has to live life with his wenis hanging out, banging up against his leg, growing, and shrinking all day. We chicks are lucky we don’t have to constantly be distracted because all our stuff is compacted like a neat envelope ready to be… uhhhhhhh…. mailed.

“What is he so happy about?”