Untoward effects are the most common cause of this discontinuance associated with generic cialis cheap The winner of the 1996 excursion, Bjarne Riis admitted he won the competition while on EPO and other performance buy viagra cialis For most people, smoke is both a buy cialis usa Almost any habit or fixation could be damaging and hazardous. Before one falls victim to such points, he satisfies himself cialis cheap canada Viagra is a business name useful for Sildenafil Citrate by Pfizer pharmaceutical company. Sildenafil citrate is 20 mg cialis You are able to stop and restrain ed. Some simple ways that you could do this really buy cialis Its a known fact that smoking is an addiction also it isnt order cheap cialis About the side that is psychological, the medications associated with it along with depression interfere with erections. Exactly the same buy cialis online - A man who looses concupiscence for cheap generic cialis Condoms are just one of the very most effective assistance for family preparing cialis order online

Vagina Stuff
Category

  • Maybe The World Doesn’t Need Child Brides

    You know, maybe it is just me, but I am not really into the idea of child brides.  I actually think it is a huge fucking problem, and maybe its time for it to be over.  I know that there are cultural traditions involved, but much like female genital mutilation, I think its okay to let it be a thing of the past.  It seems to me like a basic human right to not have your vagina cut into pieces, of to be sold off to a man who will most likely rape you when you are still a kid.  Like it or not, we live in a global society and maybe there should be some global standards regarding the rights of children.

    My friend Aallia recently alerted me to this video where an 11-year old girl is telling her story about her parents trying to marry her off.  She ran away to live with her uncle, and said she would rather die than to have become a child bride.  She goes on to explain how many young girls kill themselves when forced into this circumstance.

    You can see the anger and confusion she has towards her parents for wanting to force her into that situation.  I couldn’t help but wonder what her parents were thinking.  Were they totally desperate for money?  Money they needed for other younger children?  Were they brainwashed into thinking that marrying their child off at 11 just isn’t a problem? Do they feel like it is a tradition that their daughter has no right to rebel from?  The one thing I know is that they had to have felt justified in their actions, otherwise why would they do it?

    I look at my little Munch and think how impossible it would be for me to ever do something like that to her.  But at the same time, my life also seems worlds apart from so many others.  I have the luxury of giving her a full childhood – one where she will be sheltered and cared for until she is 18.  From an evolutionary perspective it is a very recent that we have extended childhood as much as we have in the Western World.  But now that it is the standard for millions, it feels like an injustice that children from other nations are excluded.

    Although I fully respect the complexities of customs, there is also the reality that traditions do adapt, change, and morph.  At one point we thought it was a good idea to put leaches on our body to cure diseases.  We don’t do that any more.  As the collective consciousness evolves, inevitably peoples longstanding practices are going to have to be re-examined. Although the mass effort of materialism and homogenizing the globe through corporate greed is obviously problematic, having a communal human understanding of how people should be treated sounds reasonable.

    child-bride-blog-2

     

    July 26, 2013 • Current Events, Musings, Political Banter, Women's Business • Views: 2374

  • Pussy Control

    Guess what I have been researching??? Pussy juice! Yes that is right! The copulins that are produced by the woman’s vagina!  You are damn skippy I have!

    I have discovered a lot.  For one, the muff is a lot my mystical than I ever understood.  I am now realizing that a lady’s love pocket has serious powers that make is seem like a sorceress is living up in those canyon walls -brewing her special magical potion.  You see the poonanie produces copulins that have actual mind control effects on a male’s brain.  I am not kidding.  If I man is exposed to a woman’s copulins, over time she will be able to:

    1)    Change, remove, or insert memories.

    2)    Tell the male what he sees, hears, feels, smells, tastes.

    3)    
Insert subconscious thoughts that will surface as male “ideas” or behavior later.

    4)    
Plant trigger words or actions that can cause thoughts, actions, or sensations in the male at later dates (days, weeks, even months).

    You are probably saying to yourself “what the fuck” if you are a guy.  And if you are girl you are most likely thinking, “how do I do that?”  Well let me tell you!!  It is through a process called “coupling,” where a man has his ding-dong inside you, but you aren’t banging.  You are just lying together with his schnlong in your pong.  Then….

    “While the penile duct is being opened, the vaginal walls begin secreting a much thicker fluid, thicker even than the fluid holding the penis in place. The fluid is chemically attracted to semen. In short, the fluid enters the penis, follows the semen down the shaft and directly into the gonads. This process can take as long as fifteen minutes, and requires that the vagina produce up to and exceeding 100 milliliters (a little less than half a cup) of this fluid in order to completely fill the penile shaft and gonads. This is over twenty times as much fluid as is ejaculated by the male during sexual intercourse.”

    You are totally welcome for the visual of a HALF A CUP of fluid flowing down a guys pee hole and then nesting in his balls!

    Okay, so you a probably wondering about this whole “coupling” thing since most guys want to ram their weenis in and out of you and not just stick it in to relax.  So if you don’t exactly want the guy to know what you are doing, after sex, (when you are on top!! Got to be on top because it happens way faster) just lay there with his winky in your stinky.  You got to somehow do it for 15 min…. but maybe he could fall asleep while all your chocha nectar streams into his peen.  Or you pretend to fall asleep on him because he was just “that good.”  But keep it in your hoo ha! Then, after 15 minuets the copulins have been released like a pack of wild dogs.  They travel from his balls up into his hypothalamus (in the brain) and he will then become completely susceptible to your needs and suggestions.

    Once his hypothalamus is flooded with your love sap, start putting ideas in his head.  Just chat away. Talk about anything you want regarding his behavior.

    “Once a hypothalamus is flooded with copulins, the male brain is just sitting on idle, with only the bare minimum of thought process.  In this state, the male is probably not thinking of anything at all, but any input from the female will become the male’s singular focus.”

    “As soon as input is received from the female, the brain focuses entirely on that input, and all thoughts that are contrary to the female’s input are halted.  For example, the male might be thinking about playing golf on Tuesday, even though he knows the female doesn’t like him to play golf.  If the female stated that he won’t think about golf anymore, and will instead think of her, the male will find himself incapable of thinking of golf while the copulins are present.”

    If you keep doing this:

    “the hypothalamus completely ignores the male’s polypeptides while copulins are present, even if the female gives no input.  Although the male is not forming too many original thoughts, the brain is still communicating ideas back and forth; however, these ideas are completely regulated by what the male already knows the female expects.  Using the example above, the male might think in the forefront, “What am I going to do on Tuesday?”   Without ever considering golf, the male will answer himself by immediately thinking what the female would want.  What’s important is that the male isn’t making a conscious effort to put himself in his mate’s shoes, but truly thinks he has formulated this idea on his own.  Past communication has already established that the female doesn’t want him to play golf, and so the copulins allow only those thoughts that promote non-golf activities to reach the conscious level.  This level is the classic copulin model that most people think about when it comes to copulins and their effects.”

    Obviously the example of golf if pretty lame because who but 40 year old chicks in LA give a flying fuck in a rolling doughnut about their husband playing golf.  But the implications of all this is pretty wild.  Of course there are limits to what you can or cannot get your man to do under the influence of your snatch.  For instance you couldn’t get him to rob a bank for you if he is truly morally opposed to that sort of thing. If what you are trying to implant violently conflicts with his ethics it won’t stick… but if you want him to do things that are within his own psychological moral compass you are good to go!

    Some of the women who gave testimonies talk about how after the copulin influence their husbands do all the housework, or spend more time with her and the kids- and do so happily.  But to me that is just child’s play. We need to get all the politician’s wives/girlfriends/adulteresses/transgender prostitutes to get on this shit!! Come on Michelle!! We can change the world with your honey pot! Lets do this!

    pussy-control-blog-(i)

    July 12, 2013 • Mommy Body, Mommy Mind, Musings, Women's Business • Views: 28725

  • L’eau de Snatch

    Don’t hate me because I am beautiful, but also don’t hate me because I am not beautiful enough.  You should only hate me because earlier I took your toothbrush and itched my bum with it- and I wasn’t wearing underwear.

    Beauty is a huge part of a woman’s existence.  Women feel bad about themselves when society doesn’t deem them beautiful, but they also feel sorry for themselves when they are too beautiful and prejudiced against.  Chicks are so often defined by their appearance that no matter what the circumstance, there is always something to complain about.  Beauty, or lack their of, is ultimately an objectifying force because it will forever be a descriptive to your identity.  “I am the pretty girl” or “I am not the pretty girl.”  But why can’t you just be that girl who has dope personality and a nice warm gooey vagina that men want to bury their penis in?  Is it just men who make us feel like beauty is everything, or do we also do it to ourselves?

    Where the tragedy lies is how women who don’t feel attractive enough also sometimes feel invisible to the world of men.  Dustin Hoffman who was recently interviewed about his role in the movie Tootsie, opens up about how hard it was for him to realize that plight of the woman.  He describes that when he was preparing for the role, he wanted to make sure he passed as an actual woman, so he took his costume to the streets to see how he was received.  And even through he was seen as a woman, he was not revered as beautiful.  In his heart he knew he made an interesting woman, but he also knew so many men wouldn’t get to know him/her because he wasn’t conventionally pretty.  And his own angst bled into the fact that he had to realize how many women he looked over and never approached because of his own biases and superficial impulses.  “There are too many interesting woman that I have not had the chance to know in this life because I have been brainwashed,” Hoffamn said through tears.

    Take another example of tennis player Marion Bartoli winning the Wimbledon Women’s championship and having a BBC on air presenter say “Do you think her dad told her when she was little ‘You are never going to be a looker? You’ll never be a Sharapova, so you have to be scrappy and fight.’” Okay this comment is idiotic for so many reasons.  For one, it is not like Sharapova won matches with her perky tits and flawless facial features.  She didn’t use her pout to ricochet the ball to the other end of the court.  Her ass didn’t serve, or hit volleys.  She played tennis well, just like the other lass Bartoli.  For this guy to imply that looks have anything to do with capabilities as an athlete is ridiculous, and by doing that both these woman are being subjected to the concept that their beauty either makes them better or worse as people.

    The focus on looks doesn’t only reside within the cultural standards, but also within our own heads.  And maybe that is because as women we are socialized to care about our beauty because we think that is what men want from us.  And maybe we are conditioning our men to be attracted to the beauty we find beautiful? Do men really care if a woman is conventionally beautiful from a biological primal perspective, or are they drawn to standard attractiveness because they want to be admired by other woman?  Like I am the man with the hot woman, don’t you other woman want me more as a consequence because I am so desirable?  Do woman define the beauty standards or do men?  Maybe as chicks if we had a more flexible definition so would the men.  Maybe us women are holding on just as tight to these oppressive standards?

    Okay but this is not new to you.  You all already know this bullshit.  Both men and women are totally brainwashed when it comes to beauty and the question isn’t is this happening, but what can we do about it.

    Well I think I have the solution.  According to this documentary called “The Science of Sex Appeal” a woman’s copulins has an extremely powerful effect on men.  If you are not sure what I am talking about, copulins are hormones/chemicals secreted by a woman’s vagina.  In this experiment, scientists created synthetic copulins for men to inhale while looking at pictures of women.  So just to be clear, scientists took the time to develop a scent of cootch, that they then bottled and administered through a gas mask sending the aroma of pussy directly into these guys’ noses.  Yes.  That really happened.

    But the findings were fascinating.  While these men were inhaling the fragrance of a woman’s front bottom, they were unable to distinguish between conventionally attractive women and less attractive women.  Yup.  So while guys are wafting on twat, they think all women are pretty damn sexy.

    So I am developing a fragrance called “L’eau de Snatch” for the ladies.  By smelling like muff you will be sure to attract men because ultimately all they care about is crawling into your love pocket.

    l'eau-de-snatch-blog-(i)

    July 10, 2013 • 3 years old, Current Events, Mommy Body, Mommy Mind, Musings, Women's Business • Views: 3485

  • Maybe My Kid Should Start Smoking

    So this whole weaning thing has been wayyyyyyyyy dramatic today.  I knew this was going to be the case, which was why I have avoided it for so long.  I feel as if I am seriously detoxing The Munch.  Like she has been addicted to my tit juice and now she is in a state of total withdrawal.

    When kids breastfeed oxytocin is released, which is considered the bonding hormone, or the “love” chemicals of our brain.  So literally your baby gets high as fuck on love.  No wonder The Munch is so attached to the process! It is like nursing reboots her operating system and she is shot up with the love drug.

    So taking that away from her is somewhat traumatizing.  Not only for the ritual that she has become accustomed to, but also because The Munch’s body chemistry is used to that love boost.  So to take that away from her is this serious crash to her eco system.  Beyond the fact that it makes her feel comforted, The Munch is having to adjust to a life of total sobriety.

    Munch spent most of the morning asking for to do “nana” and I kept trying to distract her with cake, lollipops, and letting her watch Mickey Mouse Club House.  I was letting her indulge in every decadence I usually keep her away from, but by the time it was 2pm she had 60 grams of sugar surging through her veins and her eyes were bleeding from staring at the computer screen for 2 hours.

    It was exactly naptime, which is the key time she would usually breastfeed to fall asleep, and that is where everything fell apart.

    Today was the second full day without “nana” and I endured one of the hardest parenting moments of my life.  Unlike if a guy were crying in my face because he wanted to suck on my boobs, I actually cared about Munch was going through.  Obviously breastfeeding a toddler is not just about nutrition or their immune systems, but there is a huge emotional component as well.  She wept as if she were in a genuine state of mourning.  The expression on her face was so tormented I couldn’t help but cry too.  There was something so pure and primal about her distress.  The Munch was in a genuine state of suffering, and I felt like nothing could console her.  She was grieving that she had to leave behind this very important part of her existence.  I tried to rationalize with Munch, but I was useless through my tears as I watched this creature I love sob with such passion.  So I held her and let her weep thinking that if she were every going to move forward, it would only be through confronting her pain completely.

    Munch: “Please Mamma, please!!! I want to do nana! PLEASE!”

    Toni: “Munch, Mamma’s nanas don’t work anymore.  They only work for 3 years, and now that you are 3, they don’t work!”

    Munch: “But please Mamma! Just one side!! Please!!!!!!!!!”

    Toni: “Munch, I can’t.  The nana gnomes came on your birthday and took my nanas away, and now they don’t work anymore.  The nana gnomes brought them to the new babies being born so they can have nana.”

    Munch: “But Mamma please!! I really want to do nana!! Please Mamma PLEASE!”

    Toni: “But listen Munch, the nana gnomes have planed a really big surprise for you. To celebrate the end of nana.  Tomorrow there are going to be fireworks in the sky just for you!  The are like giant fairies that explode in the sky!! And it is all for you! Because they are so happy that you don’t do nana anymore!”

    Munch: “But Mamma I really really really want to do nana! Please! And I want you to wear a dress.”

    Toni: “You want me to wear a dress?”

    Munch: “A pink dress and tights. And I really want to do nana!!” PLEASE MAMMA PLEASE!!

    This went on for a while.  Finally, after I thought my heart was going to crumble, The Munch decided she would eat some cake instead.  So I let her have her 3rd piece of the day, and then strapped her to my back to take a walk so she could sleep.  As she slept my friend Gita and I saw a bald eagle.

    Gita: “Maybe it is a sign that you are doing the right thing with Munch.”

    Toni: “Maybe it is a sign that America is becoming extinct since tomorrow is the 4th!”

    The afternoon with Munch was peaceful.  I am hoping that our moment was her final lamentation of what was, and she has moved on.  That she had fully face her sorrow in order to truly let go.  Of course Munch will probably be in her 20s and still think that fireworks are for the celebration of her no longer doing nana, but I am thinking that is okay.

    I wish I could have gotten my hands on some Kiddy Klonopin for The Munch, or maybe I should have gotten her into smoking to make this transition easier.

    weaning-blog-(i)

  • Finding Femininity

    “Mamma, can I paint my nails?” was not a question I expected my two-year old would ask me.  Not that I have anything against nail polish, but since I never paint my nails I wondered where The Munch had been exposed to this practice.  But then I remembered how her sexy babysitter has red toes, and then realized of course The Munch wants her feet to look sassy like hers.

    The Munch is often around women.  She observes how they behave, and identifies herself as a female like them.  When I spend time with my friends and Munch, she sees herself as one of the girls.  You know, a couple of gals hanging out, just one happens to be slightly bossier than the rest and infinitely more dramatic considering The Munch is ready to cry without any shame under any circumstance.  Actually, come to think of it she fits right in.

    Munch is beginning to notice elements of femininity and wanting to apply them to her own being. But part of her fitting into this world of feminine culture means that she is enacting behavior that is way beyond her years.  For example since a few of my friends are pregnant, The Munch looks at that as an experience she should be having too.

    Munch: “Mamma, I have a baby in my tummy.”

    Toni: “You do?”

    Munch: “Yeah, it’s a teeny tiny baby.  Do you want to feel it?”

    Toni: “Sure.”

    Munch: “In my tummy, my baby has her paci, and her bottle, and her toys, and her teddy bear, and a lollipop in case she gets hungry.  Can you feel the toys in there?”

    Toni: “I sure can Munch.”

    Simone De Beauvoir talked about how we are born male or female, which determines our biology, but masculine and feminine traits are purely a socialized phenomenon.  She believed there was nothing inherently different about baby boys or baby girls, and that gender is enforced through conditioning.

    I love Simone De Beauvoir and even named my dog Mona after her, but now that I have a daughter I feel conflicted by her hypothesis.

    I don’t see myself as intentionally conditioning my daughter to have feminine traits.  I am not even sure I consider myself to be all that feminine.  It is not like I go around wearing pink talking about my period all day. I just sometimes where pink and talk about my period on the days it’s happening.  Is my womaness a genuine part of my personality, or just something I picked up as a child from other chicks who picked it up from other broads who picked it up from other skirts?

    Is this something that I should be stopping?  There is nothing overt I am doing to make Munch interested girly shit.  These are decisions she is making on her own volition.  I never pushed baby dolls in her face and demanded she play with them.  Those were the toys that she naturally gravitated towards. Maybe that is because she sees me mothering her, and in turn wants some to mother- because I am her example.

    How can I break this cycle of conditioning femininity when much of this influence is a consequence of my simply existing, and allowing her to observe other women?  Femininity isn’t something you find under a rock, but discover through being around other females you adore.  The young emulate adults the admire, and even if I am the biggest “tom boy” in the world, there will still be traits she picks up from other broads she respects.

    Kind of like The Munch being really excited that her “poe nails” are painted red just like her babysitter’s.

    finding-feminnity-blog-(i)

    finding-femininity-blog-(i2)

     

     

  • Cuntree Mouse, City Mouse

    Sometimes the cuntree mouse ventures into the city.  My friend Gita and I decided to go shopping in Boston, an act I have not done in over 3 years.  When I lived in NYC I kinda gave a shit what I wore, but now that I live amongst the trees and chicken shit, I don’t really think it matters if my outfit clashes.  Especially in a place where the only online dating site that is advertised on television is “farmersonly.com.”

    The other element that has been impeding my fashion choices these days is my attachment comfort.  It is hard to prioritize a really cute pair of pants that ride up my ass to the point of creating a canyon between my cheeks, or shoes that feel like foot binding. I kind of would rather wear a fleece onsie.

    So when I was trying on “skinny jeans” today that were supposed to make me look….ummmm skinny I guess… I couldn’t get over how restrictive they felt.

    Toni: “Are you sure these are the right size?”

    Sales girl: “Yeah…. Totally”

    Toni: “Do you have them a size bigger.”

    Sales girl: “Yeah…. Totally.  But those are totally the right size.”

    Toni: “There are just so tight around the waist.”

    Sales girl: “Yeah.”

    Toni: “Its just that I am used to wearing maternity jeans.  In fact those are the only jeans I wear these days.  They have this roomy elastic waistband that is stretchy and without buttons to constrict your flesh.”

    Sales girl: “OH when did you have your baby?”

    Toni: “3-years ago.”

    Sales girl: “Ummm seriously dude.  Buy those jeans.”

    cuntree-mouse-blog-(i)

    cuntree-mouse-blog-(i2)

     

    May 17, 2013 • 2 years old, Adventures, Mommy Body, Mommy Mind, Women's Business • Views: 12404

  • Naked Girls are Amazing Accessories

    You know how chicks rely on purses, belts and heels to sass up their look and make them more look feminine?  Well guys have their own version of accessorizing to make them look manlier, and it is usually a scantily dressed bird.  Nothing says I am a stud more than a slender dame with her tits hanging out draped on your arm.  But you have to hold her up! She is hungry and her feet hurt from her shoes!

    But this is nothing new.  It is such an old paradigm that I am sure there are cave paintings of Cog and his lady friend Mwanpa in a semi-upright position, with her beard in braids wearing a risqué rock bra trying to look sexy.  Women play into this convention just as much as men want them to because being valued for our beauty gives us a sense of worth.  That is why there are so many willing participants in the media who will gladly display their bodies as decorations when men need them to look virile.

    Lets take for example, music videos.  A babe on set is the ultimate garnish to make you look cool.  Sometimes it is her whole body, and sometimes-just parts of her body like in “Baby’s Got Back” – a video with giant butt sculptures for the guys to sit on.  I don’t really have a problem with this, but you would never see a video with girls squatting over a giant set of balls rapping about wanting testicles to be large and ploppy.  Although I welcome the sentiment of appreciating a full figured woman, there is a double standard that always exists when it comes to the objectification of the female body compared to the man’s.  Maybe that is because a man’s crotch looks like the elephant man’s face… but still.

    But I have come to accept this as relatively commonplace, and usually try and enjoy things for what they are.  The classic scenario of a man singing a long to his song, while birds wiggle around and shake their hips too and fro in somewhat consistency of the beat.  Pretty standard recipe I thought… until I saw THIS VIDEO by with Robin Thick, Pharrell, and TI.

    So you know that saying “half-naked” women, and how it usually refers to skirts who are wearing few clothes?  Yeah, so these Betties are literally half naked.  They are wearing nude thongs, weird nurse-friendly sneakers, and nothing else.  Their bare bosoms are flopping around and jiggling – reverberating with every step they take.

    This is really the weirdest video ever.  At fist I was like “is this an ironic statement??”  Having the men be fully dressed in suits as the women parade around with their areolas exposed to the elements?   But then there was one girl who was dry humping a taxidermy dog, while another cradled a lamb and I thought “no… I think they are serious.”

    At one point “Robin Thick has a big dick” is spelled out in silver balloons prompting me to think, “oh this has to be a fucking joke…” But then the chorus drops in saying “I know you want it” over and over- that coupled with a scene of a girl’s bare ass with a flag sticking out that read STOP made me feel like things were getting kind of rapey.  This was only further inflamed by the lyric “try to domesticate you, but you’re an animal” where a girl is all fours thrusting while another girl has her foot on her ass like she has just conquered her.

    I mean, this is taking the whole hot chick in my video idea to a new level.  I want to think this is a spoof.  Or at least an intentional commentary rather than an actual attempt of making something you want people to take seriously.  But I really can’t tell.  And you know what? The girls bobbing around with no tops on sort of look silly!  Like they would be sexier if there was some mystique to their outfits.

    The nurse shoes are really odd right?

    naked-girl-blog-(i)

     

    May 7, 2013 • 2 years old, Current Events, Mommy Mind, Musings, Women's Business • Views: 3697

  • Guess What??? I am Better Than You!

    Women are often defined through their relationship to the other.  As a girl grows up people will question whether she is going to have a baby or become a wife, and through those decisions a socially acceptable identity is formed. Of course many women want different realties and defy conventions, but the expectation is always lingering like a fart under the sheets.

    I am sure men have similar pressures, but the quintessential bachelor is an envied archetype, where the single, childless, woman is one to be pitied.  Oftentimes women feel like it’s an accomplishment to get engaged, and the competition for the most glamorous ring becomes just as relevant as the loving bond soon to be formed.  Bitches be crazy over their diamonds!

    But its not just chicks fault that they are stuck in this paradigm.  In a patriarchal society, men are what define power.  If a woman wants to acquire power under this context, marrying a powerful man, or birthing a powerful son are real strategies.  However, there are more approaches now and broads can’t forget that.  Fine, we may get paid less, and it is hard as fuck to claw our way up to the upper echelons – but there are more opportunities than ever before.  Ladies are on a forward path and shouldn’t feel constrained by past models.  If we want power we don’t need a man to provide it for us, because we have the capacity to seize it ourselves.

    So my opinion is – fuck the convention and do what you want.  If you want to get married, fantastic.  If you want to stay single, rock on.  If you want to be polyamorous, yes! Do that.  But watch out for that 7th leg because who does that one belong to?  Whatever you choose, do it because it is the path that you actually want to walk.   Being single is amazing because every time you leave your house it’s an adventure – you have no one to answer to, and are in complete control of all the decisions you make.  You can fall in love in a night and experience the passion and limitless potential of someone you are still getting to know. Or being in a relationship is groovy because you have a partner to count on, someone to help you get through the intricacies of life, and can get laid without having to care if you have showered in two days.  They are all fine decisions, but they don’t define who you are as a person.  Being married is not an achievement just like being single is not a failure.  Females are just humans running around with tits and a vagina, but that doesn’t mean we are incomplete without an other.

    But you know the cliché scenario where a woman gets engaged and then brags to her friends about it??  My friend Bridget and I made a video with our own take.  This scene actually came to her in a dream…. I think once you see it you will understand why!

    Watch it here!! 

    guess-what-blog-(i)

     

    May 2, 2013 • 2 years old, Mommy Mind, Musings, Relationships, Women's Business • Views: 1079

  • Bikini Girls

    Little girls in bikinis.  Is this okay? Not okay?  Should you even be reading this? Are we going to get arrested for talking about this? I am scared.

    Last week my friend Gita sent me an article about how Gwyneth Paltrow designed a line of bikinis for 4-8 year old girls, and a group called Kidscape was outraged that she was promoting the sexualization of young girls.

    I wasn’t sure what I thought about little girls in bikinis, but I was sure that the 5-year old model was way skinnier than me, so I immediately committed to getting back to my birth weight.  Then…the next day I opened the mail and my mom had sent The Munch a bikini! Coincidence? Irony? Or was the bikini actually for me and my mom was trying to inspire my new diet goals of weighing 7 pounds 4 ounces?

    Of course The Munch was really excited about her new bathing suit and immediately wanted to put it on.  She was at first confused about the idea of a top and didn’t get it.

    Toni: “See… It’s just like Mamma’s Munch.”

    Munch: “Ohhhhhhh.  I see. I see.  To cover my nanas.” (which is what she calls boobs).

    Then she tried on the bottoms, but it was too big,  So The Munch did what any normal person would do.  Took off the bottoms and just wore the top – for the rest of the entire day.

    So now that my daughter not only has a bikini, but is wearing half of one, what do I think about this?  Does clothing sexualize little girls? Or does the observer?  If someone is going to see a child as sexy, does it matter what the kid is wearing? Or does their perversion exists regardless of apparel?  I am not sure – I am kind of the thinking that if someone is going to be turned on by kids, its because there is something wrong with them, and putting the child in a Yves Saint Laurent dress isn’t going to make a shit bit difference.

    But I do think the fashion for children has changed drastically since I was a kid, and there is something creepy about it.  My biggest issue is that kids now look like mini-adults rather than children.

    This was never an issue I had to contend with.  When I was young we didn’t have low wasted jeans or Baby-Tees to chose from.  Clothes were distinctly for kids.  As a pre-teen Pearl Jam was the shit and grunge was what was in style.  All my pants were baggy corduroys, and all my shirts were long sleeve plaids.  In high school, hip hop was the main cultural influence – so again all my pants were baggy and my t-shirts oversized.  I wasn’t hiding my body on purpose, I was just wearing what was considered cool.  I didn’t wear a tight pair of pants, or shirt that fit me, until I was in my 20’s.

    Now leggings, skinny jeans, high heel boots, and tight tops are the current things to wear.  In order for your kid to fit in, they have to be somewhat hip to the trends. But is this look problematic?  I don’t think little boys are necessarily seeing the girls as more sexual -because they are too busy thinking they have cooties, but I do question how little girls start seeing themselves.

    I remember as a child being fascinated by the idea of being a woman. What it would be like to have tits, or my period, were concepts I was intrigued by.  But the truth is that we are women for 80% of our lives.  It is such a short time where we get to be kids, so why not fully immerse ourselves in the experience of it.

    Maybe what kids wear can contribute to their growing up too fast, or maybe it really doesn’t matter.  I tend to believe that valuing your childhood happens within the context of your parents treasuring it as well.  That childhood is more of a state of mind that is preserved through environment.  Maybe once The Munch grows into the bottom half of her bikini I will think differently, but under these circumstances, all I see is a crazy little girl mooning me.

    bikini-blog-(i)