I don’t always trust myself. But you can trust me – in the sense that I am saying you can’t really trust me. I mean, you can sometimes trust me, just not all the time. But enough where you can trust that you will be surprised to discover that you really shouldn’t have trusted me in the first place. I hope this clears things up. But I also hope you know I didn’t mean anything I just said.
Trust is such an important theme in relationships that it deserves its own song. We are all very concerned with trust and do a lot talking about it. Trust is like the Kim Kardashian of emotions. It just keeps coming up no matter where you look. But I see trust as spectrum – something that has flexibility depending on the person and the situation. With everyone I love in my life I trust them each in specific ways, and in varying capacities. Some people are really honest, but are fucking crazy as shit.
There are those in my life who I trust will always tell me the truth, because it is not in their character to lie. But that doesn’t mean that they are reliable people. Or I can trust them to deal with my emotions. If am questioning if the bags under my eyes make me look gross they will for sure say “yes…” And if I ask their opinion on work I need critiqued they will be absolutely upfront on how I can improve. I really appreciate how they never blow smoke up my ass – although I used to be into that sort of thing.
People who speak their mind in a completely unfiltered manner can be hard to digest, but with a little fiber, you realize they are giving you a great gift. It is not always what you want to hear, and these are not the people I trust to comfort me when I am down, but I trust that they have my best interest at heart by telling me exactly how they see things.
I also know people who I know tell white lies, are not upfront with their feelings, but I consider them really dependable friends. They are empathetic, considerate, great listeners, and often make me feel safe opening up my most vulnerable side. Even though I can tell they lie about certain things, it is usually harmless, and in some way maintaining their own pride. I may not be able to trust these people to be completely transparent, yet I can trust that I can be myself completely around them.
My feelings about trust are that it is not about trusting someone entirely about all things all the time. It is trusting that not matter what happens, you can trust that you can work through it together. You have trust in the relationship, and you can trust them with your heart. Because in every bond there are moments where trust is violated, but trusting that you can work it out, to me, is the most imperative.
For example, I can trust that The Munch will tell me the truth when I ask her if ate a cookie at her grandmother’s house, but I can’t trust her when she says “one last time.” She never actually means “one last time” because she is a fucking liar! But I trust that we will figure it out in the end.
(See…. look at me! Colored lasers all over my face. You can’t trust that girl!)