Thinking Too Much About You, Will Make You Miserable
Thinking about yourself is the root of all misery. I know this from personal experience. I have spent a lot of time thinking about myself. I would in fact, spend most every moment, of every day, thinking about me. Even if I was thinking about someone else, I was thinking about how they were affecting… me. Me. Me. Me.
Take a second to think about what you think about. Really try and recall what that voice in your head is actually saying to you. Chances are that it is not that positive… not that productive… and not serving you. I feel like our inner monologues are the cause of much internal suffering with the blah blah blahing that clouds our thoughts. “Am I too fat? Am I good enough? Does he like me? Why doesn’t he like me? What should I wear? Will I look hot in that? Does my boss hate me? I wish I hadn’t eaten that. I like her boots. I would like lame in boots like that. I should work harder. I work too much. Will I ever succeed?” It’s exhausting how our minds torture us.
In so many ways, I feel like so much of what we do is an attempt to distract ourselves from ourselves. To not be haunted by the you inside of you. Work, exorcize, sex, tv, reading, drinking, drugs… is all an attempt to escape.
Maybe that is why falling in love can be so intoxicating. For a short period of time, you think about something other than yourself. The thought of that person totally consumes you and it is as if you can’t think of anything other than them. In a way, the impulse to find love, is the same that inspires us to get puppies. Yes… I do believe that is true. Falling in love with a man is totally like getting a puppy. But hopefully, a man won’t shit on your living room rug. At least more than once.
When we get a puppy (or any animal), we bring home a being that is totally dependent, totally adorable, and utterly loveable. The responsibility of having a pet creates a dynamic that enables you to care for another being other than yourself. It takes you out of the mundane misery of thinking about you all day. You now can think of your sweet little creature and have peace in those moments.
So in a way, having a baby is like bringing home a puppy and falling in love at the same time! I have been so zenned out since having her because I have had zero time to think about me and all my dumb problems and insecurities! I am fully aware that I if I come to use her as too much of a distraction that will totally backfire in my face… but I am definitely enjoying the beauty of thinking about her all day.