The other day The Munch, my brother, my dog Mona, and I were sitting outside having lunch with a friend.  It seemed like one of those perfect summer days.  You know, the ones where you 3-year old keeps saying “Mamma, I am worried Mona is going to get stung by a bee.  You have to put her on your lap” and is really neurotic about it.

The Munch decided she was going to go in the house to say “hi” to my mom and her “Manna.”  About ten minutes later she came back outside with a devastated look on her face.

Munch: Mamma… Manna won’t let me play with her Pee-Wee doll.

Toni:  What? She won’t let you play with her Pee-Wee doll?

Munch: No.

Toni: Well let’s go see about that.

To be honest, part of me didn’t believe Munch’s story.  What kind of monster wouldn’t let her play with their Pee-Wee doll?

Toni: Mom? Mom? Munch said you wouldn’t let her play with your Pee-Wee doll.

My Mom: Well, I don’t want her pulling the string of my Pee-Wee doll.

Toni: The string that makes him talk?

Munch: But I want to pull the string! I want Pee-Wee to talk!

My Mom: No Munchee, you can’t pull the string!

Toni: Why not? Why can’t she pull the string?

My Mom: Because I don’t want anyone pulling the string.  I don’t want Pee-Wee to be mute?

Toni: What do you mean?

My Mom: If the string is pulled too much he will be mute and he wont talk anymore.

Toni: But he is mute already since you won’t pull the string.  So what does it matter if you don’t pull it, because he isn’t talking anyway? Mom are you listening to me? And besides, he already is kind of fucked up.  He doesn’t finish all his sentences.

My Mom:  I know.  That is because you and Munch have been pulling the string!

Toni: That is not true!

My Mom: Yes it is.  Before Munch was born Pee-Wee talked perfectly, and now he doesn’t.  So no more pulling the string.

Toni: Well can we bring him outside to play?

My Mom: Yes, but don’t pull the string!

Munch: But I want him to talk!

My Mom: Munch there are plenty of things you can do with Pee-Wee besides making him talk.  You can hug him, you can brush his hair, you can nurse him….

Toni: Mom, if you don’t want to give me nightmares for the rest of my life maybe you won’t suggest nursing the Pee-Wee Doll.

So Munch and I brought the Pee-Wee doll outside and she showed it to my brother.  And of course the first thing he went to do was pull the string.