I know it’s a thing for kids to cry when they get hurt, but sometimes it’s hard for me to relate. I can’t remember the last time I cried about an injury. I have broken bones, twisted limbs, sprained joints, and you don’t see me weeping like a big baby. I swear, hit things, and curse god like a big girl.
My Mom and I brought The Munch to this fairy scavenger hunt over the weekend, and while were following our map looking for these stupid fairy stickers, The Munch fell on the pavement and scraped her knee.
I feel like this was probably the most she had hurt her self in her short little life. And let me tell you, she provided the water works to prove it. I swear The Munch is one day going to get an Oscar for how dramatic she can be. She wept and sobbed and kicked and screamed about how her boo boo hurt for seriously 45 minutes. And of course she did all this while insisting on sitting on my lap. It was so hot and sticky and gross out… it was like having a wild slimy alien assault me.
Toni: Dude you seriously have to calm down. You are going to break a blood vessel if you keep crying like this.
Munch: I don’t want to calm down! WAAHHHHAAAHHHAAAA!!!
Toni: Okay, well will you stop kicking then? It is kind of irritating.
Munch: NO I DON’T WANT TO STOP KICKING!! WAHHHHAHHHAHHHA! IT HURTS! IT REALLY HURTS!! MY BOO BOO HURTS!!!!!!!
Toni: Listen Munch this has been going on for too long. What if I gave a cookie and let you watch some Curious George?
Munch: Okay. Sniff.
Toni: Here is the cookie. But before I give it to you, I really need you to listen to me.
Toni: You can’t freak out like this every time you get hurt. Everyone gets hurt. And I know it sucks, but we all experience it, and that doesn’t mean we have to lose our minds and go into a state of frenzy. I really think you were letting yourself freak out too much there. Do you get what I am saying?
Munch: Can I have the cookie now?
Toni: Almost. You see, you are going to get hurt again. And I want you to remember this moment. That you can calm down if you want to. And you don’t have to let yourself get so hysterical. Okay? Now here is your cookie.
Munch: You know what Mamma?
Munch: The cookie is making my boo boo feel so much better.
Obviously once the prospect of decadence were planted in her head, she was able to control her emotions. But I can’t allow bribing her with treats and videos to become a habit – even though it’s an easy way to get The Munch to move on from a manic episode like that.
The next day, of course she fell on her knee again and started crying. I could tell she almost wanted to work herself back up into that state of madness that she had been in the day before.
Munch: MAMMA IT REALLY HURTS IT REALLY HURTS!! WAHHHAAAHAAA!
Toni: Dude, you are going to be okay, you just have to calm down and breathe.
Munch: I NEED A COOKIE AND TO WATCH CURIOUS GEORGE!!!
Toni: No way… we are not going to do that every time you hurt yourself. Listen, do you want to hear about the time that Mamma was hurt so much that she cried?
Munch: Yeah… sniff…
Toni: Well when you were a baby in Mamma’s tummy, you had to come out so you could be born. But you had this big head, and all Mamma had was this teeny tiny baby hole for you to come out of.
Munch: And my head was really big?
Toni: Yeah, and my baby hole was really miniscule compared to you big old head.
Munch: And so you were crying?
Toni: You better believe I was crying… here… let me reenact that moment for you…