Temper Tantrums

A temper tantrum, although annoying and socially inappropriate, is a great way to get what you want. I think I am going to start adding them to my repertoire of relating to people because screaming, kicking, and bashing your head against the floor is quite an effective way of communicating your point. And here is a tip, if you are really passionate about making sure you message is clear, add pulling out your hair, gagging yourself, and shoving your fingers into your tear ridden eye balls to create a dramatic impact that is truly immeasurable.

Although I thought I would never tolerate such rancid behavior before having a baby, the thing about actually having to deal with these emotional eruptions is that more than wanting to teach your child a lesson on good behavior, you want them to shut the fuck up. Rather than kneeling down and trying to explain why The Munch can’t eat a dead fly, I will more likely just give the corpse back to her and hope it isn’t laden with malaria. You got to pick your battles right?

Recently The Munch has spent her mornings in a craptastic mood because she didn’t seem to get the memo on daylights savings and is all out of wack. Not sure why, but she is pretty amped to start her day at 3:30 am, and I have been spending my predawn hours wrestling her and trying to pin her back to sleep. Granted, my full nelson has improved, but we are both pretty cranky by the time the sun is up reminding me that somewhere out there someone is living a full, emotionally stable life, and it is not me.

So this morning I decided we should go play outside because it is nice out, and I was hoping she might trip on something and bring a little laughter into my life. The tantrum began with shoes…sigh… doesn’t always with girls? Once I shoved her little hooves in, she was in such a state that she just lay down on the floor screaming and thumping her head repeatedly. I had to pee so I went to the bathroom and sat there hoping my soul would pour out and free me from this condemnation when I heard her little feet stomping around the house to find me. Then she just looked at me and cried in my face while I tried to relax and release… Not an easy task mind you.

Then I left her in the bathroom with something to actually cry about in the form of stench and went outside. I figured if I left the doors open she would figure it out and find me… which she did. And you know what? She actually had calmed herself down! I am not sure if ignoring her feelings is always the best strategy, but maybe it can work sometimes when her fury is fueled by apparel?

“But I don’t want to wear these shoes!”