Take It To The Limit
If there is a line to be crossed, you are going to see me waving from the other side. In fact, I always carry a bale of hay just in case I come across a camel. I don’t only push boundaries, but detonate them with C4 explosives. There is just this part of me that can’t stop even once I have had enough. Woo!
So needless to say I have pushed my body to the limit many times before in life. It was not uncommon for me to get so wasted I would forget what my face looked like, then pass out underneath the DJ table, only to wake up and find out daylight savings had happened while I was sleeping and took that as a sign that I had an extra hour to party. I would also do things like skateboard 18 miles, take 3 dance classes, and then go out clubbing until 5 in the morning.
Although that makes me sound a little intense, this type of extremism can also work in my favor. I can do 12-day fasts, 10-day silent meditation retreats, push through any challenge in yoga, swim 2 miles, give birth…. My tendency to always go beyond can be just as healing as self-destructive. Perhaps the main distinction is where my motivation is coming from? When my intentions are pure the rewards are semi-divine, but when they are driven by the ego or escapism I will suffer the consequences.
I know I am not the only person who is like this. Probably a big part of this mentality is youth. When you are young you exist in a perpetual state of denying death and wanting to believe that you can handle any challenge. But as you age, you start to feel the abuse of your body and soul, and realize that you aren’t going to live forever and should probably to take better care of yourself.
After getting my fever and pushing my body to film my movie, do a dance performance, work, host an event, all with a headache that I swear was spawned from the innards of a swamp monster… it is time accept that I have new limits. Although I never wanted having a baby to change me, or turn me into an annoying pussy, I do have to abandon my hubris and admit that I expend a lot of energy raising a part tyrannical-part angelic being. I have to respect that now my line is closer than it use to be, and maybe I should just stick to straddling it. That can still be a lot of fun.
“He Mama! Check me out! I climbed as high as I can… help me get up that tree!”