Sometimes you realize something about yourself that you don’t really want to admit. I had one of those moments the other day when talking to my friend Cyndal. We were sitting at the bank together trying to pass time….
Cyndal: “I learned how to play poker when I was 5 from my uncle, but I have never been very good at it.”
Toni: “Is that because you don’t have a good poker face and your cherubic expressions give you away?”
Cyndal: “I guess? I just never win.”
Toni: “I don’t think I have ever played a game of cards and not cheated.”
Cyndal: “Really?”
Toni: “Yeah. I pretty much cheated at every game I played as a kid.”
Cyndal: “Seriously?”
Toni: “I would cheat at Uno, Shoots and Ladders, Monopoly, Trivial Pursuit…
Guy at Bank Helping us: “Wait, how do you cheat in Trivial Pursuit?”
Toni: “Oh… you know… if someone was holding the card up and I could see the back, I wouldn’t say anything and just read the upside down answer. Or I would sneak an extra triangle in when no one was paying attention. Come to think of it, no matter what I was playing I would always figure out some way to cheat.”
Cyndal: “Were you really competitive or something?”
Toni: “No. It is really weird. It wasn’t like I cared if I won.”
Cyndal: “But did you stop when you became an adult.”
Toni: “I cheated in Scattergories the last time I played… and that was two years ago.”
Cyndal: “Maybe you just don’t like rules? Like you have to break them…. to disregard them completely. Maybe you were born an anarchist?”
What kind of kind of person am I? It is not about the winning, or the thrill of maybe getting caught – because that would be pretty humiliating to get caught cheating at “go fish.”
I think there is a seduction of getting away with something. Like I have a superiority complex when I pull it off. If I can sneak through a game with no one realizing I cheated, then I have won, whether I actually win or not.
I hope this devious gene does not get passed on. Or at least skips a generation so The Munch is spared. I am not proud of my cheating ways, although I am proud I have never got caught. So far I have yet to play a game with The Munch… but am I actually going to play fair when I do? I guess that will be the real test of motherhood…
PS. Upon further reflection, and talking to my friend Bridget about this subject, I also have to admit I cheated on many tests. I still cannot tell you what “calculus” is, but somehow I got I “B.”
