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  • A White Chick’s Thoughts on the Police State, Steroids, and The Deception of the American Dream

    Have you ever taken an information detox? You know, like when you only juice the news? I am just emerging from mine, and even though I feel lighter without the burden of digesting world events, I also know I will gain all the weight back as soon as I start eating up content again.

    For an entire month I was (gasp) too busy to look at Facebook. I know… a tragedy almost too tragic to tell. This meant my lifeline to the outside world was broken. Without my newsfeed, there was no one are around to feed me news. When I finally sat down to catch up on what I’ve been missing I was so disturbed that my face actually buffered.

    I have a theory about the police force in America. I think there is a HUGE population of officers who take steroids.

    The last time I was in New York City, I was looking at the body types of the cops. They all look like super heroes in the 3rd installment of their movie franchise. I don’t think it is possible for people who work at least 9 hours a day at a job to also have the time to be at the gym long enough to get that muscular.

    Yes I know fitness is part of the criteria of being a cop, but in order to get as fit as a LOT of the police out there, you have to literally spend HOURS every day lifting and training. There is almost no way they have the time to achieve those bodies naturally.

    Just like we test athletes for steroids, we need to test policemen as well!!!!! There is a hell of a lot MORE at stake then some records being broken.

    “Roid rage” is a real thing. Steroids majorly impact your psychology – causing nervousness, mood swings, extreme irritability, delusions, hostility, aggression… When I watch videos of police brutality/ MURDERS, it’s like these guys are possessed!!!

    Yes racism is for SURE a factor in the rampant problems within the police force, but I would argue that steroids are enflaming the violence. There is currently no standardized testing for cops. I think every police officer that’s involved in an unwarranted ferocious attack should IMMEDIATELY be tested – as should their entire department. Drug use does not exist in a vacuum. Just like in sports teams, usually MANY people are using together. A culture is created where it’s not only accepted, but you are WEAK if you don’t.

    Also, why the hell do traffic cops need guns? Okay fine you can have a Taser just in case, but I really don’t think if your main objective is to pull people over for speeding or rolling through a stop sign, you also need a gun to shoot people in the head. Not every police officer needs a gun to do their job. I would like to see the stats of how many policemen are murdered because of traffic stops vs. how many citizens are UNJUSTLY murdered because of driving with a “wide nose.”

    The question most rational people are asking themselves is; what do we do about this very obvious pandemic?

    I don’t think people are being consciously complacent. I see that many Americans deeply care about this gross inequality. Yet at the same time, we are allowing it to happen because – it KEEPS HAPPENING! There is UNDENIABLE EVIDENCE of these events occurring – videos that tell the story of a crime – yet cops are STILL getting off, aren’t persecuted by the law, and often receive massive pensions if they leave the force.

    There seems to be this disconnect between what we know to be VERY WRONG, and not knowing how to take action. I think this is partly because as a society, modern Americans have very little context when it comes to genuine rebellion or dissent. We have been protected for many years from the fears that a huge population of the world deals with daily. There is no war outside our front doors. We are not risking our lives to go to school. America is not perfect by any means, but it’s a hell of a lot safer than a country that actually experiences drone attacks.

    We live in a first world bubble of potential and opportunity. Although the promise of the American dream may have an idealistic value to the psyche of our country, it’s also an extremely dangerous mentality to believe in.

    In order for a population of people to be controlled, they have to be divided. Because American has such vast diversity, both with race, culture, economics, and religion, we are less united. Even if we share a similar social justice belief system, there is a vast range of the kinds of people involved in any movement, and they have very different levels sacrifice.

    If you look at the youth movement in Palestine, they are mostly coming from a very similar frame of reference. They are all equally oppressed, and feel their inequality equally amongst themselves. There is a community in dissent, because they all mostly have the same risk. They see no future in their country, so risking their lives to fight for one seems logical. The promise of zero opportunity frees them from holding back. They are literally fighting against injustice with rocks and make shift weapons because they have nothing to lose.

    Yet here in America, there is this looming promise of opportunity. It’s scary to sacrifice everything because what if you miss out? The diversity of our experience of being Americans keeps us divided. The hope of achieving the “American Dream” keeps us from really going balls to the wall in fighting a system we KNOW is corrupt. Even if you live in a poor community that is constantly patrolled, there is still this lingering hope that you can get out. You could be one of the few exceptions, and fit yourself into a different potential future if you just kept quite and kept working.

    So this leaves us in a philosophical conundrum. We have all the information to know how dangerous and unjust the corrupt justice system is; yet we are passive observers to it. Although words are crucial when it comes to paradigm shifts, and many people are speaking out, there is something more needs to be done with our actions.

    There are all these inspiring speeches going around with people talking about how there is no “race,” except for the “human race.” Race is a complete social construct that was created by Europeans to oppress and objectify Africans when they were being colonized. There aren’t different races, just different physical attributes. But “race” is still very alive in our imaginations and to pretend that it hasn’t embedded in our culture isn’t working. Being aware of our current paradigm of race is the first step to restructuring its significance – especially because of the danger with the ignorant identification with those of your same race.

    When Philando Castille was brutally murdered while reaching for his gun permit, where was the outrage from the NRA????!!!!!!!! This is like their thing… isn’t it??!! Why aren’t they speaking out about this issue and using this story to further their cause. Because they are all a bunch of white dudes who think they can only identify with white gun owners?!

    The assumption that race is the defining indicator of identification is so archaic. If I were in a room with a 20 white women who all came from a similar socio-economic background, all attended private school like I did, all went to college, and all had 6 year old daughters, I would still identify more with the Asian man in the corner making a mandala out of neon sand and talking about his chakras. My tribe of people are NOT white women, but rather anyone who is counter culture and challenging convention. Those people that want to stand out from the status quo while talking sincerely about energy centers, past life regressions, and conspiracy theories they got tattooed onto their back.

    This pretty pretty much sums up my feelings about all this… Sad day to think NWA’s “Fuck the Police” is just as relevant now as it was 18 years ago 🙁

    munch NWA

    July 14, 2016 • Current Events, Political Banter • Views: 4010

  • Shingles and Shenanigans

    The other day my mom calls me up and says:

    My Mom: I think I have a tick bite on my chin.
    Toni: I seriously doubt that.
    My Mom: Well I seriously think a tick bit my chin.
    Toni: Mom, you look in the mirror all the time. You would have seen a giant tick hanging off your face sucking your blood.
    My Mom: You’re probably right.

    She calls again the next day.

    My Mom: I think I have shingles on my chin.
    Toni: Why would you think that?
    My Mom: Because my head is all tingly, and my face hurts.
    Toni: Shit.
    My Mom: Can you come over and look at my chin?

    I went over to her house, and looked at her chin. Sure enough, I thought they were shingles too.

    Toni: I think you’re right.

    Now here’s the thing. My mom usually lives in Boston, so she doesn’t have a primary care physician in New Hampsha. The longer you let shingles shingle, they more shingly they get. And let me tell, shingles fucking suck so hard. For me, they were worse than childbirth.

    So OF COURSE I wanted to help my mom and take her to the emergency room so she could get the medication ASAP. But it was also 10pm, and I hadn’t eaten dinner yet.

    Toni: Do you want me to take you to the emergency room?
    My Mom: That would be really nice, yes!
    Toni: Ummm but we could go in the morning right? Like, you’re already all cozy in your jammas?
    My Mom: Oh sure, we can go in the morning.
    Toni: I will go get you some of my hippy shingles medication for tonight.

    As I left her house to grab my new age bark paste –  I felt guilty as fuck. I knew the right thing to do was to bring her to the emergency room that night and not wait until the next day….

    Toni: Here is some dragon eggshell mixed with Echinacea that I used on my shingles… but maybe we should just go tonight?
    My Mom: You don’t mind?
    Toni: OF COURSE NOT! Let me just go eat my hamburger for dinner and then I’ll take you.
    I ate one hamburger, and left my second hamburger behind because I didn’t want my mom and her shingles to wait too long.  For me, this is a lot more tragic than you would think.  But you guys, ever since I was pregnant, I got into the habit of eating TWO hamburgers.  Eating just ONE feels wrong!

    My mom and get to the hospital, she checks in, and I am still super hungry.  We get called back into the room, and the nurse starts checking her vitals.

    Nurse: Now why are you here this evening?
    My Mom: Well my neck has been feeling weird, and I thought it was because I got too enthusiastic in Yoga or something. Like maybe I did a shoulder stand for too long. But then I realized no I didn’t do any such thing. It’s not the yoga. I have shingles.
    Nurse: I see. Do you have any allergies?
    My Mom: No. Well I sneeze all the time, but I’m not allergic to any medications or anything.
    Nurse: Do you take medication for your sneezing?
    My Mom: I take Benadryl every night.
    Toni: HOLY FUCK YOU DO??
    My Mom: Yeah, it helps me sleep.
    Toni: Seriously, I think there are better ways.
    Nurse: Are you two sisters?
    My Mom: I AM HER MOTHER!! BUT THANK YOU!! Everyone always thinks that.

    The nurse left, and the Doctor entered. Now this doctor was not exactly the most jovial character on planet earth. He is an ER doctor in rural New Hampsha and exactly how you would expect him to be. There was no kidding around for him.

    My mom however is a personality and a half. She likes to say things to get a rise out of people, and entertain herself. If you are wondering where I get it from… well there’s your answer.

    Doctor: What brings you here today?
    My Mom: I have shingles.
    Doctor: And why would you think that?
    My Mom: Well at first I thought it was the yoga but… then I realized I didn’t hurt myself in yoga. It’s shingles. See look.
    Doctor: Usually shingles happen with our older patients.
    My Mom: Well I am 63.

    The doctor looks again.

    Doctor: Yeah, it does look like shingles.
    My Mom: Aren’t I clever?
    Doctor: What do you mean?
    My Mom: Aren’t I cleaver to diagnose myself with shingles.
    Doctor: Not really. A lot of people diagnose themselves with shingles. And they’re usually right.
    My Mom: Don’t you still think I’m clever?
    Doctor: I don’t know about that.
    My Mom: I knew if I came in quick, the shingles would go away faster, and hurt less.
    Doctor: There are only half-truths in that statement. That isn’t exactly the case.
    My Mom: Isn’t it better to come in within the first 72 hours? That’s why we rushed over.
    Doctor: When did they start bothering you?
    My Mom: This afternoon. So that’s why we came tonight. Aren’t we clever to get here on time?
    Doctor: Well, you had about 68 more hours you could have waited.
    My Mom: But we are clever.
    Doctor: I will be right back.

    The doctor left and I just sat there with my head in my hands not knowing whether to laugh or try and drown myself. He then returned.

    Doctor: Okay well…
    My Mom: Are you going to prescribe me Valtrex or something?
    Doctor: What I was trying to say is…. I am going to give you something tonight that you can take immediately, then you can fill your prescription tomorrow morning…
    My Mom: Do you think CVS is open right now?
    Doctor: No. Which is why I said I was going to give you something tonight.
    My Mom: Okay well the less drugs the better.
    Doctor: What do you mean?
    My Mom: I’m just not the type of person who takes drugs.

    COMING FROM THE WOMAN WHO TAKES BENADRYL EVERY NIGHT MIND YOU!?

    Doctor: Well I can prescribe you something for the pain, and you don’t have to fill it if you don’t want to.
    Toni: Mom, shingles are seriously painful.  They may not hurt yet because you just got them, but they will.
    Doctor: What did you take for your shingles?
    Toni: I was given the Valacyclovir.
    Doctor: Yes, we could also prescribe steroids, but it is not given to patients under 55.
    My Mom: Well I’m 63. Even though we look like sisters.
    Doctor: I was just saying that’s why they weren’t given to her.
    My Mom: Should I take steroids if I am sad?
    Doctor: What do you mean sad?
    My Mom: Just if I get sad from my shingles.
    Doctor: We can prescribe them. And the painkillers.
    My Mom: How will I get the drugs? Do I just call the hospital and mention your name and they will give them to me?
    Doctor: No. Not at all.
    My Mom: Well how do I get the drugs?
    Doctor: I will write you a prescription tonight that you can take with you.
    My Mom: So I shouldn’t just come in here and drop your name.
    Doctor: Definitely not.

    As you can see, this doctor was just NOT getting my mom at all. Here she was dropping comedy gold, and he was taking her so seriously!! I thought they were going to kick us out of the hospital. There was no way she was going to win this guy over.  But then… he entered with the prescriptions.

    Doctor: Here are your prescriptions for the shingles and also for the pain.
    My Mom: Am I going to turn into Rush Limbaugh if I take painkillers?
    Doctor: Why would you say that?
    My Mom: I just don’t want to turn into Rush Limbaugh.
    Doctor: I don’t think that’s going to happen. You’re not a big fat idiot.
    My Mom: Can you believe that Al Franken was able to go from Saturday Night Live, to writing a book called “Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot,” to being the senator of Minnesota?

    AND just like that –  they were friends!! They talked about Al Franken for the next 5 minutes!!

    Doctor: Well that was quite a tangent. Good luck to you, and if you have any problems come back and I’ll take care of it.
    My Mom: Great. I’ll just drop your name.
    Doctor: It’s a good thing that you came in early and took care of this.
    My Mom: I don’t fuck around.
    Doctor: I can see that.

    The doctor then shook our hands and left as the nurse came in to give my mom her pills.

    My Mom: Nurse, would you mind looking in my ears? They have been really itchy and I just want to make sure there are no ticks in my ears.
    Nurse: Have you been outside?
    My Mom: Just in my screened in porch.

    And sure enough, there were no ticks in her ears.

    mom-shingles-blog-2

    July 30, 2015 • Adventures, Family Drama • Views: 3608