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sexuality
Posts

  • Why Are We Such Hypocrites About Sex?

    When I was a kid my parents took my brother and me to Europe for the summer.  They wanted to show us the places where they grew up, and travel down memory lane with their children to bear witness.  I am sure they took us to many historically significant sites, and spoke with nostalgia about their past gone by – their intentions being to educate and expose us to the culture of our heritage.  But for some reason all I remember about that trip was listening to Prince on my Walkman while driving 120 miles per hour down the Autobahn, and boobs on TV.

    I guess in Europe it was considered okay to advertise yogurt with bare breasts.  Considering the fact that all the beaches were topless, why not have a nipple remind you that strawberry is a delicious flavor for your favorite dairy treat?  Actually, I now remember the topless beaches too, and my being too shy to expose my 7 year old chest, but then also feeling awkward about being the only girl in a full piece bathing suit.  But I was fascinated by the idea that on the beaches in Hungary, showing your breasts was not considered nudity.

    I wonder how we in America can be so uptight about nudity, and yet still use the woman’s body as a selling point for almost every product on the market?  A sexy girl can sell cars, cigarettes, beer, men’s body spray, peanuts, fast food hamburgers…. Yet at the same time if we happen to see a nip slip while she is breastfeeding then quick call the cops and arrest her.  There seems to be such a mixed messages when it comes to female sexuality where it is totally okay for major corporations to exploit her, but if she is to look sexy on her own then she is asking to be raped.

    Which brings me to an article that a fellow blogger wrote about here, where this mom of 3 sons wrote an open letter to teenage girls.  It starts like this “Dear girls, I have some information that might interest you. Last night, as we sometimes do, our family sat around the dining-room table and looked through your social media photos.”

    Okay stop….

    Call me old fashion, but that seems like a really weird thing to do at dinner.  Shouldn’t you guys be talking to each other instead of look at pictures of teen girls on Facebook?

    She then goes on to say how “I think the boys notice other things. For one, it appears that you are not wearing a bra.  I get it – you’re in your room, so you’re heading to bed, right? But then I can’t help but notice the red carpet pose, the extra-arched back, and the sultry pout.  What’s up? None of these positions is one I naturally assume before sleep, this I know.”

    Ummmm, actually yeah I do do that.  It’s actually really great exercise.  But has this women ever looked at a magazine, or turned on the TV?  It seems really condescending to blame girls for being inappropriate when they are imitating what they see as culturally acceptable in our every day media.  And if mom thinks this is the sauciest stuff her kids are seeing on the internet I invite her to do an hour tour of the porn-world that is out there for everyone to enjoy assuming they have fingers to click the “yes I am 18 button.”  And believe you me, the culture of modern pornography is way more disturbing and graphic then any 16 year old trying to look cute before going to bed. (If you are my grandmother read no further… skip to the next paragraph… but I think we should be way more concerned of videos like “2 dicks one ass” and how that is impacting the male expectation of sex then we should care about some young girls mimicking a Vodka add).

    I guess this mom had good intentions with her open letter – thinking that girls should care more about their personalities and intelligence then worrying about posting seductive selfies online.  But at the same time, should females feel ashamed for wanting to be sexually desirable? Or should they alone be held responsible for men wanting to fantasize about them? And why is sex something disgraceful?  I mean I know it is kind of funny that a man puts his wingy-ding in a fuzzy-wuzzy, but that is nothing to be embarrassed about!

    There is this idea that we have to protect our children from sex, and if we keep them away from it they will never be curious about it.  There even seems to be the prevailing opinion that sex or nudity is more dangerous for them to see than violence.  But is this reasonable thinking considering sexualized images are so prevalent in the advertising world and modern pop culture? And I feel like kids in indigenous tribes are exposed to naked people all the time, and I am pretty sure that the exposure makes sex, nudity, and sexuality less intriguing because it is so in their face.  I mean when you are waste-high and constantly have to dodge bumping into genitals, chances are that you are not going to be half as interested in sex as a repressed American teenager.

    hypocrites-about-sex-blog-(i)

    September 6, 2013 • Current Events, Musings, Women's Business • Views: 1459

  • L’eau de Snatch

    Don’t hate me because I am beautiful, but also don’t hate me because I am not beautiful enough.  You should only hate me because earlier I took your toothbrush and itched my bum with it- and I wasn’t wearing underwear.

    Beauty is a huge part of a woman’s existence.  Women feel bad about themselves when society doesn’t deem them beautiful, but they also feel sorry for themselves when they are too beautiful and prejudiced against.  Chicks are so often defined by their appearance that no matter what the circumstance, there is always something to complain about.  Beauty, or lack their of, is ultimately an objectifying force because it will forever be a descriptive to your identity.  “I am the pretty girl” or “I am not the pretty girl.”  But why can’t you just be that girl who has dope personality and a nice warm gooey vagina that men want to bury their penis in?  Is it just men who make us feel like beauty is everything, or do we also do it to ourselves?

    Where the tragedy lies is how women who don’t feel attractive enough also sometimes feel invisible to the world of men.  Dustin Hoffman who was recently interviewed about his role in the movie Tootsie, opens up about how hard it was for him to realize that plight of the woman.  He describes that when he was preparing for the role, he wanted to make sure he passed as an actual woman, so he took his costume to the streets to see how he was received.  And even through he was seen as a woman, he was not revered as beautiful.  In his heart he knew he made an interesting woman, but he also knew so many men wouldn’t get to know him/her because he wasn’t conventionally pretty.  And his own angst bled into the fact that he had to realize how many women he looked over and never approached because of his own biases and superficial impulses.  “There are too many interesting woman that I have not had the chance to know in this life because I have been brainwashed,” Hoffamn said through tears.

    Take another example of tennis player Marion Bartoli winning the Wimbledon Women’s championship and having a BBC on air presenter say “Do you think her dad told her when she was little ‘You are never going to be a looker? You’ll never be a Sharapova, so you have to be scrappy and fight.’” Okay this comment is idiotic for so many reasons.  For one, it is not like Sharapova won matches with her perky tits and flawless facial features.  She didn’t use her pout to ricochet the ball to the other end of the court.  Her ass didn’t serve, or hit volleys.  She played tennis well, just like the other lass Bartoli.  For this guy to imply that looks have anything to do with capabilities as an athlete is ridiculous, and by doing that both these woman are being subjected to the concept that their beauty either makes them better or worse as people.

    The focus on looks doesn’t only reside within the cultural standards, but also within our own heads.  And maybe that is because as women we are socialized to care about our beauty because we think that is what men want from us.  And maybe we are conditioning our men to be attracted to the beauty we find beautiful? Do men really care if a woman is conventionally beautiful from a biological primal perspective, or are they drawn to standard attractiveness because they want to be admired by other woman?  Like I am the man with the hot woman, don’t you other woman want me more as a consequence because I am so desirable?  Do woman define the beauty standards or do men?  Maybe as chicks if we had a more flexible definition so would the men.  Maybe us women are holding on just as tight to these oppressive standards?

    Okay but this is not new to you.  You all already know this bullshit.  Both men and women are totally brainwashed when it comes to beauty and the question isn’t is this happening, but what can we do about it.

    Well I think I have the solution.  According to this documentary called “The Science of Sex Appeal” a woman’s copulins has an extremely powerful effect on men.  If you are not sure what I am talking about, copulins are hormones/chemicals secreted by a woman’s vagina.  In this experiment, scientists created synthetic copulins for men to inhale while looking at pictures of women.  So just to be clear, scientists took the time to develop a scent of cootch, that they then bottled and administered through a gas mask sending the aroma of pussy directly into these guys’ noses.  Yes.  That really happened.

    But the findings were fascinating.  While these men were inhaling the fragrance of a woman’s front bottom, they were unable to distinguish between conventionally attractive women and less attractive women.  Yup.  So while guys are wafting on twat, they think all women are pretty damn sexy.

    So I am developing a fragrance called “L’eau de Snatch” for the ladies.  By smelling like muff you will be sure to attract men because ultimately all they care about is crawling into your love pocket.

    l'eau-de-snatch-blog-(i)

    July 10, 2013 • 3 years old, Current Events, Mommy Body, Mommy Mind, Musings, Women's Business • Views: 2672

  • Women Be Communicating and Shit

    It is a common cliché that women are always wanting to talk about their emotions, but I feel like that is really unfair because that assumption makes me feel condescended towards and that makes me feel angry which makes me feel vulnerable because I am feeling like my feelings are not taken seriously, so then I feel like the whole stereotype is not only exaggerated but I also feel like it is not making me feel good.

    So… this weekend I went to a Kundalini woman’s circle to explore the idea of communication and talk about our feelings about it!

    The yoga teacher starting off by describing how 80% of communication is nonverbal – your body language, tone of voice, and even the way you present yourself all vastly contribute to the way you are perceived.  She went on to explain why it is really important to dress in a way that represents your true essence and soul – with grace and beauty to reflect your true self.  I thought about this point deeply, and then looked down at my shirt that read “don’t be a douche.”  Yup.  Looks like I am on the right path.

    She then starting talking about the importance of diplomacy, how that is a natural skill of women, but we have to be careful not to fall into the propensity of manipulation.  This really made me think.  What exactly is the difference between manipulation and diplomacy?

    On a micro level, they are both using tactics to persuade another to do what you want.  Is it the intention behind the coaxing that makes one more benign than another?  There are so many little ways women are taught to be manipulative, but it is a mostly innocent.  Flirting with a cop to get out of a speeding ticket, or coyly asking for help for someone to carry your suitcases.  Women use their sexuality as a means of manipulation but sometimes that is because it feels like a convenient weapon to use against those who have power over you.

    But on the macro level, comparing diplomacy and manipulation has much greater ramifications.  It isn’t like world leaders are harmlessly batting their eyes in the hopes for peace in Kashmir.  Most political discourse is manipulative rather than diplomatic, yet that has become a societal standard.  It’s hard to commit to the authenticity of diplomacy when the tactic of manipulation is not only effective, but also a cultural norm.  I think men and women often rely on their powers of manipulation because it is the easiest way to get what you want.

    Although women often fall back on the strategy of using sex appeal to manipulate men, in truth, it is only a superficial tactic.  You aren’t really being respected in those moments, but distracting them momentarily by the butt on your back or front.  In order to truly get long-term admiration you have to conduct yourself through the nobility of your soul.

    We then went on to do this meditation where we had to look at the tip of our nose and say a mantra 10,000 bagillion times.  And you know what came up for me? That I hated that stupid mantra, and I hated communicating, and hated a whole bunch of other shit too.  The entire time I was supposed to be one with all things sacred and holy while unlocking the secrets of communicating through my highest-self all I could think was “I fucking hate this shit.”

    So I think I am well on my way, what about you!! Check out my shirt! Don’t be a douche!!!!

    women-be-communicating-blog-(i)