future
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  • Nursing the Teat of the Earth Dry

    We all have shamanic rituals we enact to get through life on this earth – these sacred routines that help connect you to your higher self and escape the harshness of reality. Maybe for you it’s taking a bath, gardening, staring at the stars, breathing in the wind, digging a ditch to then writhe naked with the worms while humming show tunes, or watching Internet porn? To each his own. For me, I like to walk around the lake by my house – it’s pretty.

    The other day as I was walking, it started to rain. I looked above me and could see the rain cloud, but also a patch of blue sky in front of me. I figured, “Oh Toni, you’re right underneath the rain cloud, so you just have to run in front of it to where the sky is blue, and then you won’t get rained on anymore!” Yes, you heard me right. I thought I could outrun a rain cloud, and genuinely tried to accomplish that goal for the remaining 3 miles around the lake – and wouldn’t you know it – I never was able to RUN FASTER THAN THE EARTH’S ROTATION? Weird right?

    Or maybe it was weird that I authentically thought this was possible? Oh whoops, I forgot to tell you I was pretty stoned during this experience, so that might explain some things.

    We think we are in control of the earth. Humanity maintains this illusion that we have power over the planet and that we Sapiens are the priority above all other the species, and even the planet itself. We believe that all the earth’s bounty and resources are primarily for us to sustain our lives, even at the cost of everything else. Yet why? For thousands of years mankind was much more in tune with the harmony of the natural world and our place inside it, rather than above it. Why have we become corrupted into assuming that humans deserve to consume everything in our wake?

    A hostile ideology towards nature has permeated modern thinking and Francis Bacon, who is considered the father of empiricism and “Western” scientific method, ejaculated this attitude. Bacon would use analogies of raping and controlling the earth when discussing the need for science as a means to dominate nature. His metaphors were filled with violence towards the feminine, and it was his teachings that birthed our Western relationship to science.

    No wonder we as a species are acting so viciously towards the planet. There is a collective sentiment of domination over nature like she is a woman that needs to be put in her place. The arrogance that nature can be restricted is echoed in the way the world treats women and all that the feminine has come to represent. Consider our relationship oil – it’s as if we are sucking at the teat of the world, yet giving her no time to replenish. Is it really a good idea to keep nursing until there is no more milk left to nourish? Doesn’t mother earth, like an actual nursing mother, need time to rejuvenate? Even a baby knows to take a break and stare into space for a little while or play with its fingers. How are we so smart about so many things, yet so unaware that you can’t treat the earth, or women, like they are purely vessels for taking whatever you want from them?

    We use the term “mother nature” acknowledging the symbiotic relationship that the planet sustains all life, yet we simultaneously treat her like a disposable whore. There is a psychological conflict that’s taking place and it’s reiterated in the way women are treated across the globe. The violence towards the earth is reverberated in the violence towards women. We take advantage of the mother earth much like we take advantage of mothers. If the mother instinct prevailed, then preservation of the future would be the top priority over money and the restrictions of a privatized global economy. Every decision would be made under the lens of “what is best for my children” rather than “what is best for me.” Yet sadly, and irrationally, that’s not our approach.

    The human species is the greatest ecological serial killer the earth has ever known. Over the past 50,000 years a staggering amount of animals have gone extinct because of our influence. We are in the midst of a 3rd mass extinction of animals right now. Our 3rd! We have done this before. North America used to be the home of giant 8-ton sloths that were 20 ft high. There were rodents the size of bears. Wooly mammals. Giant Tigers. Right here where you’re sitting! All the animals that exist today, are a mere fraction of what used to be – we killed them all. And all that death made way for what? The most useless generation of humans ever to exist? Yeah maybe we can text really fast while driving, but we don’t know shit about survival. Human beings at least used to be one with their environment – I don’t even know how to keep myself alive without a refrigerator. I just go to the grocery store and am like, “Uhhhh this box of food looks look good.” Most of us are useless. We’re not inventing solutions to the world’s problems; we’re just creating more trash.

    Yet even if all the citizens in the US lived in intentional communities of off the grid geodesic domes, ate only organic vegan food grown locally in our shoes, dressed exclusively in clothes that were hemp colored hemp, and traveled purely by unicycle – the military industrial complex would still be polluting the planet at an alarming rate. We can’t just change our personal behavior; we also have to address the entire system that operates without consideration of the future, which I know, feels exhausting.

    So yes, we as individuals have to do everything we can to be more ecologically aware and lesson our footprint, but we also can’t forget about the GIANT BOOT on our chests that is the US military, and most of corporate culture that operates by the rules of Wall Street rather than the laws of nature.

    Hope y’all had a good earth day over the weekend and weren’t thinking about the apocalyptic shit that I was!

    April 25, 2018 • Current Events, Environmental Impact, Political Banter • Views: 3478

  • It’s Not That Leo DiCaprio Is That Great, Everyone Else is Just Insane!

    Leo DiCaprio finally won his Oscar, and admirably dedicated his speech to bringing awareness to climate change. Leo has been a longtime ally of the environmental movement, and his efforts have been undoubtedly commendable. But I don’t think we should be worshipping him for being eco-conscious, because to NOT be talking about global warming is FUCKING CRAZY!

    Leo isn’t great for bringing up the MOST IMPORANT threat facing humanity – everyone else is an asshole for NOT talking about it. I think at each and every award show the nominee should thank their manager, thank the fans, thank god, and then end with, “by the way the world is coming to an end so maybe we should do something about it!”

    I am pretty sure climate change is ALL WE SHOULD BE TALKING ABOUT! Including ME and YOU!

    The super rich are going to be fine during Armageddon. They can just fly their helicopters to their secret fancy bunkers on the top of the Himalayas. Leo DiCaprio will be popping bottles with models in the Andes when shit hits the fan. I’m pretty sure most of Hollywood already has a personal chef preparing gluten-free free-range gluten while Sherpa carry up their Louis Viton bags. It’s all fine and good that fancy people remind us that we are currently cannibalizing ourselves at a rapid speed, but the lunacy that we have to be reminded is the real problem.

    We shouldn’t be clapping our chubby little hands because really rich successful people care about the future of humanity, we should be doing everything we can to be caring about the future of humanity. We are the ones who are going to be downing in the rising seas as Tsunamis take out the entire coastal regions of this country. We’re not going to have life vests made of money and Moet. We are going to be wishing that rather than watching TV and dicking around on Facebook, we were doing something to stop this inevitable mayhem.

    People are comparing the ascent of Donald Trump to the rise of Hitler based on his hateful ethos. Yet regardless if Trump wins the presidency, we are all complacent to a mass genocide that is the making. Just as I asked myself “how did people stand by and do nothing during Nazi Germany?” – I am SURE history will soon ask the same of us. If there are any people left! I can see it now. Little kids will be sitting in their underwater schools, with desks made of trash, and their GMO gills flapping in the nuclear sludge. They will read their texts books and wonder, “how did those people stand by and watch as the planet was destroyed by an insatiable industry of mass consumerism?”

    Of course we don’t talk about climate change everyday because it feels too overwhelming and depressing. Yet what if we did talk about it every day? What if every time you participated in this consumer culture you asked yourself “how will my decision effect climate change?” We are the ones who shape the capitalist system. We can choose not to economically support the companies that rule Wall Street. We can stop big business by refusing to give them our money. At least we can start trying. (Pretty sure the cable, Internet, and phone companies have us on lock down… but you guys we can do this!)

    Yes there are roadblocks when wanting to be a conscious consumer, yet part of the problem is that we aren’t constantly discussing what we can do. We need to be asking ourselves the right questions. Where we can buy affordable products that are eco? How we can support community-supported agriculture that is competitively priced and empowers local farming? Do we have to buy clothes treated with toxic chemicals? Must we brush our teeth with cancer causing agents? I don’t know about you, but I would rather a world of smelly armpits that are free from carcinogens than continuing to blindly enable companies who are putting poisonous products in our deodorant.

    There are alternatives, and the more we discuss them, the more we will feel emboldened to commit to change. There are 19-year old kids who are developing ways to clean the oceans. There are solutions. If a goddamn child is coming up with ideas, I am pretty sure that the grown men who are milking the teat of our planet’s resources can too. We can’t shy away from obsessively talking about this issue, because I would feel PRETTY FUCKING BAD being part of the generation that stood by as we faced mass extinction.

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    February 29, 2016 • Current Events • Views: 3297

  • Can You Sprinkle Some GMO’s in my DNA?

    Now that it is winter, and I basically live in the open Tundra, I have had a lot more time to stare off into the distance and think about the future. Not my future silly… that just feels like a bleak road of endless mediocrity and stalled dreams – the future of humanity! Wait… that also feels pretty dreary. FUCK!

    I wonder what the evolution of our species is going to look like. Technology has so drastically impacted our environment and society that it seems impossible our DNA won’t be affected. Don’t you feel like extreme shifts in culture would force our biology to adjust just as much as shifting natural ecosystems did? If simply walking north was the catalyst for all racial differentiation, how is our iWorld going to influence our brains? What is the exposure of hundreds and thousands of chemicals going to do to our bodies? How are our psychological selves going to adapt to a world where social media takes precedence over human contact?

    At least this is the crap I think about during those moments when I am sitting with my kid spending “quality time” with her. You see… as long as you look like you are paying attention, it is totally okay to daydream about our transhumanist future!

    The other night I was playing in The Munch’s room watching her practice handstands. I observed how she endlessly kicked her legs in the air, awaiting a moment of balance to feel the lightness of suspension. Part of me was impressed by her tenacity, but I was also thinking how I have seen 4-year olds on Youtube dance the Salsa like their feet were on fire. I know talent is relative, but I also can’t help but compare The Munch to the countless of amazing children I have seen on the Internet! Some of who are infinitely better than me at everything I do!

    It is hard to be blown away by anything any more because we have infinite exposure to everything great humans do all over the world. Someone in Uzbekistan can fart so forcefully that they propel themselves into the air, land on a tree branch with their pinkies, and then somersault off while contorting their body so much that they land inside an Evian bottle – and I will see it on Facebook! Then all my farts would seem subpar, and average, as they just blandly soak into the couch. I SUCK!

    When you see someone do something you can’t, the normal human reaction is to feel awestruck, but also inadequate. The prevailing internal monologue is usually “wow, that is cool, but I can’t do that ☹” We don’t all have the natural ability, or commitment to be exceptional at everything, yet we still have the urge for excellence. But don’t worry everyone! I think science will soon change all that!!!

    Because we live in a genetically modified world, I think we are approaching the point were we are going to start genetically modifying humans. Science is on the precipice of making this a reality, and as soon as rich people can get access to this technology, they are going to use it. They will not only manipulate genes for beauty and physical prowess, but also manufacture immunities to best deal with the impending environmental catastrophes before us. This super race will not only be aesthetically perfect and intellectually advanced, but they will also have the biology to withstand the breakdown of nature. Yet of course there will also be a race of humans who can’t afford to purchase these targeted mutations, and they will sadly be at the mercy of natural selection. Maybe the super race will then use the blood of the pathetic unmodified people for fuel… or inject it into their bodies to stay immortal.

    OMG what is wrong with me!? Why can’t I just play “Go Fish” with my kid like a normal person??

    But maybe I need to start saving up $$$ so I can shoot GMO’s into The Much so she can stick that handstand?

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    November 19, 2014 • Current Events, Environmental Impact, Musings, Playing • Views: 3994